# Helping out a fellow prepper...



## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

I have a friend, he's a prepper but a very very bad one  
He came back from a work hunting trip to find his power was out, the electric companies fault not his. So he approaches me to help him out with a bit of food in exchange for some work. Good so far right.... Well maybe.
The problem is that he has nothing else in his house, he only had the meat in the freezer. Now if this was me I'd just live on what's in the pantry for a week or two until the elec company cough up what they owe me (yes they have said they'll pay for the losses). I can't give him enough meat for him to eat as he usually would... I've seen him eat 10 pork chops at a sitting. 
I'd gladly give him some veg, meat, flour, sugar etc... I've got no idea if he can even cook... I'm going to cook him a meal tonight but I'm not prepared to cook for him every night. I can give him a pig if he will butcher it himself in exchange for a days work but I think he really needs to learn how to ration. 
I don't have time to teach him to cook and I'm not handing over precooked dinners... :gaah: I hate being in this situation, I know it was hard for him to ask and I'm going to find it hard to tell him what he needs to hear.


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

I'm curious why you think your friend is a prepper. It doesn't sound like he is remotely prepared for much of anything.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

He's the person who introduced me to the idea of 'prepping', before then I was just someone who put stuff by for a rainy day. He is into PMs etc. He just never gets his stuff together enough to put food by. He has the best intentions but never gets there. If we had met under different circumstances (if I'd been part of the prepper community before I met him) I'd NEVER have mentioned prepping to him.... too late now


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## CrackbottomLouis (May 20, 2012)

Yeah. No food. Don't know how to cook. Can't eat after a power outage destroys freezer stash. Not a prepper. This is the type of person I hope doesn't have a lot of guns and ammo.


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## camo2460 (Feb 10, 2013)

Wellrounded, sometimes a person NEEDS to hear the hard things. If he is a friend he will listen to you and take your advise and become a better person, and maybe learn something along the way.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

camo2460 said:


> Wellrounded, sometimes a person NEEDS to hear the hard things. If he is a friend he will listen to you and take your advise and become a better person, and maybe learn something along the way.


Yeah, I know. I'll take the opportunity to give him a friendly lecture. It'll be interesting to see how he takes it. I have hope for him. He 's been through some pretty hard times, the last three years he put everything he had into his oldest son that had some BIG problems. That son is now an amazing young man and we're proud of him and his father. I'm hoping he can take some time out for himself now and get his stuff together, he knows we'll help him and I hoping that's why he asked us for help!


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

CrackbottomLouis said:


> Yeah. No food. Don't know how to cook. Can't eat after a power outage destroys freezer stash. Not a prepper. This is the type of person I hope doesn't have a lot of guns and ammo.


You're right he has a loooonnngggg way to go. He thinks he's a prepper but has a lot to learn. He's used to having a lot of income and has been playing prepper for a long time. I'm hoping this will give him the experience he needs to get a handle on what he needs to do. 
There have been times when he's had much more on hand but times have been tough for him (well tough by his standards) and he needs to learn from this.


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## Dixie (Sep 20, 2010)

So he approaches me to help him out with a bit of food in exchange for some work.

*Put the monkey back on his back, ask him to spell out exactly what he wants out of you.
"10 pork chops a meal? You know we don't have that much extra. 
Will it be replaced when you get your settlement?
Cook for you? I can do a meal or two but you know my health will not allow much more than that.
I want to help you so you tell me how best to help you until you get your settlement."

*


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

Dixie said:


> So he approaches me to help him out with a bit of food in exchange for some work.
> 
> *Put the monkey back on his back, ask him to spell out exactly what he wants out of you.
> "10 pork chops a meal? You know we don't have that much extra.
> ...


Great idea. I think I will lay it on the table. Thing is I don't want/need money, I want a hand with a few things around the farm. I guess if I ask him what he wants and then tell him what it'll 'cost' and see what he says. Good for me to do a bit of bartering and I hope he gets some idea of how I value things. When everything you have is through hard work and long hours you get a bit of a different view of what a loaf of bread is worth


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

If this guy has money for Precious Metals, he has enough to buy some food and his priorities are upside down. The first thing he needs is to recognize that if he can't be self sufficient through a simple power outage he has just failed as a prepper.

I treat small events as an opportunity to learn. We've had a number of hurricanes over the past few years in my area. With each one I have asked myself afterward what could have made the situation better and then addressed the problem. For your friend it is pretty obvious he needs some non-perishable food and he needs a lot of it. He probably needs everything except Precious Metals.


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## talob (Sep 16, 2009)

Wellrounded sure wish you were my neighbor, oh... and it's not because I need a hand.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

*What is he prepared for?*

I think food and water are basics when it comes to prepping. If he is very dependent upon eating meat and keeping a freezer stocked, he needs to figure out backup power, such as a generator, or solar powered battery setup just for his freezer.

It sounds as though his lifestyle is out of whack for prepping. And why are you the person who is helping him?

I hope this doesn't sound too snarky.

I am thinking of this as a lesson for many of us at a few levels. I read somewhere that someone has 10 freezers of preps. Oh my goodness if the power goes out.

When people know we are preppers, they think we are prepared to pick up their slack. I have an image of saving a drowning person. More than once, the person rescuing the drowning person gets drowned due to the hysteria of the person in trouble and they are both gone. That is why we are instructed to throw something to the drowning person to grab onto, not jump in to save them.

When we have our own ideas and standards, etc., when it comes to how something works and then we have someone who comes to us asking for help, it can upset our way of doing things. It can long term put us in jeopardy. I don't think this is just true for the people who have been running their mouths and advertising their preps, I believe that when SHTF, we will all be in jeopardy. It will be by the grace of God who comes out the other side. The best prepared person who encounters the right or wrong person or situation can be taken out.

Your friend is experiencing his own SHTF. I know it is hard for many to ask for help, but what to do?


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## stayingthegame (Mar 22, 2011)

tell him x-amount of food for an hour of labor doing a particular job. want ten pork chops? that equals five or six hours work. need it cooked? add two hours.


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## CrackbottomLouis (May 20, 2012)

The initial stages of prepping are not really all that complicated. Be able to stay in place for a week without any amenities coming to your house and put together a small overnight bag you can live out of for 72 hrs without resupply. Tell the guy to start there. Then add weeks a week or day at a time after that. Eventually you end up with bunker, long beard, and a strong desire to sit on the front porch with a shotgun yelling "don't come here" in a surly voice to imaginary passersby.


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## BillS (May 30, 2011)

Let him buy his own food and store what he needs in your refrigerator. Or he could buy a small dorm refrigerator at Wal-Mart or on Craigslist and keep it in your house. He can buy unfrozen meat every day. And keep it there until HE cooks it. If it's me I'm not cooking a meal for a big eater out of my own food.


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## alwaysready (May 16, 2012)

This guy does not sound like a prepper maybe a want to be prepper. Someone that has read a few articles and watched the show on tv. But he hasn't put any effort behind his words. Having PM's mean nothing if you have no food. You say this guy is used to having money so my question is why didn't he make a list and buy in bulk? I'm not saying that is the only way to build preps because not everyone can afford to do it that way. But if money is no object then why not? If I were you I'd be weary of this guy if TSHTF the best you can hope for is he'll become a leech the worse he could tell others what you have or try to take whats yours. Remember if the situation gets desperate anything could happen.


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## Jimthewagontraveler (Feb 8, 2012)

CrackbottomLouis said:


> Eventually you end up with bunker, long beard, and a strong desire to sit on the front porch with a shotgun yelling "don't come here" in a surly voice to imaginary passersby.


Hey Louis I dont know if you noticed but it almost seems as if you think those of us who do these types of behavior are bad guys?:dunno:
When we all know the bad guys are the one's who smile,ask how much you weigh then invite you to dinner.


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## catdog6949 (Apr 25, 2012)

*Wow, I have heard this before*

My best friend, want's me too cook a speghetti dinner for him and a friend he loves my cooking, so we go too the local grocery and I grab a package of hamburger and he say's he can't eat that qaulity of meat. I stare at him, he say's what, I then tell him, this is what I can afford!

He picks up a more expensive package of burger, puts it in my cart, takes mine out, now I will be feeding him and his friend, plus me and mine, so I am getting irritated, So after buying all the fixing for this meal my self we walk out of the store and go home.

I get madder and madder the more I think about this now realize, he didnt offer too pay forthe more expensive burger, I ended up with the bill. So the day I fed them I went back too ghe store and bought the cheaper hamburger and cooked up the meal!

Mr "pickky" never noticed, next I will shop alone for meals, when he feel's the need to invite hhimself! So I understand what you are going thru! Help your friend just do it on your terms.

Something too think about?

Cat and Turtle


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

There may be an opportunity here you might not want to miss. There is a huge difference between an inconvenience and a disaster. Your friend is not prepared for a simple inconvenience.

You can give him the fish or teach him to fish. If you chip in during this inconvenience, then his disaster preparedness plan is going to be "go to my buddy's house and he'll take care of me".

If I were in your shoes - if he came to my door - I'd do the cold, hard facts.

The grocery store down the street is open. 
I am not your grocery store. 
"You are not prepared for something an inconvenience much less a longer-term disaster". 
"I will help you put a plan together for you and your family; understand I cannot / will not / be your backup plan"

*20 Items to kick start your food storage plan* (decent article for the beginner, worth the read)
20 pounds of rice
20 pounds of beans
20 cans of veggies
20 cans of fruit
20 cans of meat
4 pounds of oats
2 large jars of peanut butter
2 large jars of Tang or other powdered drink
5 pounds of powdered milk
5 pounds of salt
10 pounds of pancake mix
2 pounds of honey and 2 large jars of jam
10 pounds of pasta
10 jars or cans of spaghetti sauce
20 cans of soup or broth
1 large jug of oil
Spices and condiments
5 pounds of coffee or 100 tea bags
2 large bags of hard candies
LED flashlight and extra batteries
The article left off a few things I think are important:
Dog / cat food - that needs to be on the list
Manual can opener (at least two)
Pots and pans to use on a camp or rocket stove

Being a prepper means being prepared for just about any scenario. He's not prepared and he should not push that lack of preparedness off on you. This is a good lesson on why he should get his plan in order.

IMHO


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## tsrwivey (Dec 31, 2010)

Did I miss something? Why can't he just go to town & buy some food?


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

*I am wondering*



Wellrounded said:


> I have a friend, he's a prepper but a very very bad one
> He came back from a work hunting trip to find his power was out, the electric companies fault not his. So he approaches me to help him out with a bit of food in exchange for some work. Good so far right.... Well maybe.
> The problem is that he has nothing else in his house, he only had the meat in the freezer.


He's a prepper and has nothing else in his house? Is the prepper story just that, a story and now he knows you are prepared so he has come to you? What makes this guy a prepper?



Wellrounded said:


> He came back from a work hunting trip


 He was gone looking for work? He is not working and has no money?



Wellrounded said:


> his power was out, the electric companies fault not his.


 Really? Or is it just his story and he is sticking to it?

I would let him know where the food banks are.

I really think this will be like many stories we will hear in the future.


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

Wellrounded said:


> I have a friend, he's a prepper but a very very bad one
> He came back from a work hunting trip to find his power was out, the electric companies fault not his. So he approaches me to help him out with a bit of food in exchange for some work. Good so far right.... Well maybe.
> The problem is that he has nothing else in his house, he only had the meat in the freezer. Now if this was me I'd just live on what's in the pantry for a week or two until the elec company cough up what they owe me (yes they have said they'll pay for the losses). I can't give him enough meat for him to eat as he usually would... I've seen him eat 10 pork chops at a sitting.
> I'd gladly give him some veg, meat, flour, sugar etc... I've got no idea if he can even cook... I'm going to cook him a meal tonight but I'm not prepared to cook for him every night. I can give him a pig if he will butcher it himself in exchange for a days work but I think he really needs to learn how to ration.
> I don't have time to teach him to cook and I'm not handing over precooked dinners... :gaah: I hate being in this situation, I know it was hard for him to ask and I'm going to find it hard to tell him what he needs to hear.


What, if anything, has happened since you first posted this?


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## gabbyj310 (Oct 22, 2012)

O.K. people ,with friends like this who needs enemies/zombies???? First off the guy who invites himself and friend for dinner ,needs to get off his duff and go to the store and buy everything on a list that you made out(a few extras would be nice) for dinner he sounds like a "moocher" and a cheapskate to me.When THSTF these are many of the people we will have to deal with.It will be family and friends that come knocking on your door.Are you willing to take care of ALL of them????If so how long will your stuff last that you have worked long and hard for.
For many years I was always the first to offer up anything that was needed.Boy it took awhile when I saw all these people let me spend MY money and do all the WORK,I finally realized what was going on and one of the hardest thing for me to do was STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We on here are about making it WTSHTF,many hard decision will come our way,we,are the survivors..We can give the people all of our fish or teach them to fish for themselves(keep extra for barter)if they want to make it!!!But for goodness sakes let them give something back!


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

Geesh.... and all I asked for was a status from the OP....


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

Country Living said:


> Geesh.... and all I asked for was a status from the OP....


I am also curious.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

Update.... and to answer a few questions.

He is/was broke... not a penny or so he says. We don't have food banks, we do have charities but it's like getting blood out of a stone and takes weeks to get a food box most of the time, he was after immediate short term help.
I have no idea what he has in the way of PM's, I'm assuming he has already cashed them in to pay his way over the last few months. I might be wrong and he might be telling porkies... He might not be as broke as he says.

As I said above he is a BAD prepper, has no idea how to organise himself.
I didn't tell him I was a prepper, he told me. I've always lived like this, he's the one that gave me the label. Before I met him I was just living life in as self reliant a manner as possible. I still live in exactly the same way, the only difference is that I'm a member of a few online prepper groups now. 

My issue is not about his status as a prepper but he has no idea how to economise. I'll help him the same as I'd help any friend, prepper or not. The problem is that he has no idea of what it's like to be on a TIGHT budget or the amount of work involved in producing food on the farm. We get the same from nearly everyone that comes here, they have no idea how it all works. My problem is explaining this to someone who has no clue and has humbled himself to ask for help. 


I posted this thread because I wanted to see what everyone else would do in this situation. I'm not surprised at all by everyone's comments, and I agree with most.

The problem I'm having with this friend is more about what he thinks he needs to get by rather than whether I'll help him or not. The difference between needs and wants. I see this as a problem right across my community. Nearly everyone I know thinks that being broke means going without steak at a meal and not being able to buy new shoes every 5 minutes. I sick of hearing people cry poor when they have a new or nearly new car and spend $350 a week on groceries. 
I had a neighbour a while back who was having a bit of trouble making ends meet. She asked me about a few budgeting ideas. I outlined some of the things I do to keep spending under control and she looked at me like I was insane. Her idea of 'budgeting' was buying the $300 jacket instead of the $600 one. When I told her our income she flat out told me I was lying, no one could live on that! 
This is typical of everyone I know. It's not just about having supplies on hand it's much more about knowing how to do well when things go bad with what you have at the time. They just don't want to hear that you can make 5 meals out of one chicken or make do with one pair of shoes. 

Now an update..
He came over for a meal and I gave him a few supplies. We asked him for two days work on the farm and no he hasn't been out here to work yet.
I think everything I said to him just bounced off. He did a lot of head nodding but I don't think he paid much attention. 
This is pretty much what I was expecting. Some people never learn (me included...  ). Will I help him again, not sure. I'll keep asking him how his food storage is going and keep telling him to put shelf stable stuff in his pantry. 

I've told him, as I tell everyone, if you want something out of my pantry it'll cost you, hence the two days work. If he wants a pig as well as the food I've already given him he'll owe me another two days work and he'll have to butcher it himself.


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

It sounds like you did the right thing for both of you. Thanks for the update.


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## cowboyhermit (Nov 10, 2012)

Wellrounded said:


> When I told her our income she flat out told me I was lying, no one could live on that!


For the most part I long ago gave up on telling people how much money I have lived on, they either don't believe it or think you must have eked out a miserable existence. A good portion of my life was under "the poverty line" by most measures and yet no worse to me than when I have made good money.


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## eddy_dvyvan (May 8, 2012)

Evening wellrounded,

Good on you for helping out a mate in need. I know you said you dont want to but maybe reconsider.....Teaching the poor bloke to cook. When he comes in from his yacker put an apron on him and instruct him how to cook his own and your families dinner. He may grumble but he will appreciate it. I can imagine how hard it was for him to reach out for help. 
And i agree with everyone else, light heatidly get stuck into him about not being prepared. We all need a kick in the ass now and then.

----------------------------------------

The above i had written after reading page 1. Now that ive read that he never showed up to do his work as promised......well thats not on. 

Doesnt sound like a friend to me now, sounds like a moocher.


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## CrackbottomLouis (May 20, 2012)

Well rounded, you seem like OK folk. I think its good you helped the guy out whether he showed up to work or not. He's still not a prep per but who cares. Maybe he'll turn useful somehow.


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## showmegal (Sep 14, 2011)

Wow, I'm speechless. He cant afford to put back a little rice and beans but can purchase a freezer full of meat? Tough love is my call. Hand him some rice and beans and tell him now is the time to practice his prepping skills and see how his plan is working out! You know he will be on your doorstep in a real disaster. Also I if he likes meat so much you might want to point him to the Spam isle at the grocery store!


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

I agree with the "Here's some food and how many hours of work is expected in return".

Now he knows if he wants/needs more, payment is expected.

If he works off the first debt and does the work well, then he isn't a Moocher. And if he doesn't then you know.


Long time ago a coworker asked if he could borrow a quarter for a can of pop (told you it was a long time ago didn't I?). I flip him a quarter.

Month later the same coworker ask me again if he could borrow a quarter for a can of pop. I told him, "No. He hasn't paid me back for the first quarter yet". He laughed, reached into his pocket, brought out a handful of coins and gave me a quarter. Why should he spend his own money when others were willing to buy it for him?


Flash forward a few years while I worked for a small town (population 800). I was sent to turn off a Residence's water for nonpayment. I explained to the Residence why I was there. She said the only money she was able to earn was for baby sitting and she wasn't being paid. I told her she had until noon to make arraignments with the Town's Clerk/Treasurer or I'll be back to turn off the water.

Just a few minutes before noon I was in the Clerk/Treasurer explaining the situation. In walked the Resident. Crying, no money, can't pay, barely has food, don't know what to do, only friend she has that she could borrow money from lived in the neighboring city. Clerk/Treasurer is melting, turns to me and asks what should "we" do?

Well when I read the water meter the previous month I notice a brand new cable TV cable coming into her house. I figure since she has money for cable TV then she should have money to pay her water bill. I told her the Clerk/Treasurer's office closes at noon and if the bill isn't paid by then I will be turning the water off. She turn her tears of, turned beat red and slammed the door behind her. Clerk and I watched her march to the bank, walk back to the Clerk/Treasurer's office and she then paid her bill in full! She was never late on her bill again.


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

TheLazyL said:


> She turn her tears of, turned beat read and slammed the door behind her. Clerk and I watched her march to the bank, walk back to the Clerk/Treasurer's office and she paid her bill in full!


Wow - - amazing what the correct persuasion can accomplish.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

LincTex said:


> Wow - - amazing what the correct persuasion can accomplish.


Well I learned about life from my Dad.

High School. My car is running on fumes and I spent my paycheck on my date. I asked Dad if I could get some gas out of his business storage gas tank.

"Yes, just write down how many gallons you took.", was his reply.

Well a few days later I burned thru that tank full and told Dad I was getting more out of his tank.

"No. you haven't paid me back for the last tank yet"

From there forward I knew Dad was willing to help but he would not compensate for my excess spending habit.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

Another update...
He came out yesterday and did a full days work  Was a good day for him to be here as Tuesdays are usually my big 'get it all done' day. I start at 4am and usually finish a few hours after dinner, he commented a few times on the amount of work I do... 
He also asked me to show him a bit of gardening... I said yep fine BUT I'll expect you to help in the vege garden. 
Small steps......


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

Slightly off topic; but, still on the topic of money management..... we were in the local Subway yesterday for lunch. Handwritten signs were all over the place - computer is down - _Cash only - NO debit/credit cards accepted_ (checks have never been accepted at our Subway). The line is pretty long - people were checking their cash, a few went to the ATM about 50' away to get cash.....The young woman in front of us pulled out a list and ordered four sandwiches - all the while standing directly in front of one of the handwritten signs.

She gets to the cashier smiles and...._wait for it_..... hands her a credit card. She's at the start of a hissy fit when she looks at all of us looking at her and she stomps off, supposedly to go to the ATM. We were there for about five more minutes and she never came back.

Since we were standing beside her while she was watching the lady fix the sandwiches, she had to overhear us talk about making sure we had exact change to help out the cashier since the credit card machines were down.


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

Country Living said:


> The young woman ... while standing directly in front of one of the handwritten signs.
> 
> she had to overhear us talk about making sure we had exact change to help out the cashier since the credit card machines were down.


That is a good one for here: http://www.preparedsociety.com/forum/f26/rants-raves-general-gaaah-20812


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