# Toilet Paper



## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

Why is everyone so worried about collecting a years supply of toilet paper?

You can replace toilet paper with an empty spray bottle like "Roundup" or bug spray is sold in.

Clean it out real good. You can put water in it and use the flexable hand pump sprayer as your new bidet. 

You can drip dry or use a single towel to blot dry.

Result , a clean butt and money to spend on other preps you can eat.

:flower:


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## Emerald (Jun 14, 2010)

NEVER USE ANY BOTTLE THAT HAS HAD BUG SPRAY OR ROUNDUP IN IT ON YOUR ASS! Just go to the dollar store and buy a couple of the plant sprayers or even the little water sprayers for hair. OMGoodness What are you thinking?
Round up is a chemical gene disruptor and very, very, very bad for you--you can't clean a item that has had that in it enuf to use on your body...


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*OMG*



Emerald said:


> NEVER USE ANY BOTTLE THAT HAS HAD BUG SPRAY OR ROUNDUP IN IT ON YOUR ASS! Just go to the dollar store and buy a couple of the plant sprayers or even the little water sprayers for hair. OMGoodness What are you thinking?
> Round up is a chemical gene disruptor and very, very, very bad for you--you can't clean a item that has had that in it enuf to use on your body...


That's where all the hair around my )0( went ! :dunno:


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## TheAnt (Jun 7, 2011)

BillM said:


> That's where all the hair around my )0( went ! :dunno:


Awesome! So it has positive side affects as well? :2thumb:


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

Goobers. 
That totally hurts just thing about it.


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## RevWC (Mar 28, 2011)

BillM said:


> Why is everyone so worried about collecting a years supply of toilet paper?
> 
> You can replace toilet paper with an empty spray bottle like "Roundup" or bug spray is sold in.
> 
> ...


Look Ma no bugs!


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## JayJay (Nov 23, 2010)

TheAnt said:


> Awesome! So it has positive side affects as well? :2thumb:


Oh, wow, and think what it'll do for dh's nose hairs.:gaah:


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## Jimmy24 (Apr 20, 2011)

Ya'll ain't right....:nuts: 

Jimmy


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## Emerald (Jun 14, 2010)

OMGOODNESS! We are the biggest bunch of goofballs ever!:2thumb:

Laughed so hard I had to wipe the tears from my eyes to even be able to see the screen to post!

But seriously if that is the route you wanna go-look at medical supplies and find something called a peri bottle- they hand them out after you have a baby to spray warm water on the delicate areas and then you pat dry.. they are about the size and shape of a squeeze bottle(think yellow and red bottles from the diner for ketchup and mustard) but they have an angled top so that you don't have to be a contortionist to spray the parts. they work wonderful.. Dear Daughter just had grandson and she had one in the bathroom and just loves it still... may have to find some and pick them up for my stash.
Just went and looked but they don't have the same one that DD had-the ones online look like the top piece is like the dish soap container tops. Now I wonder if you saved the small dish soap container and cleaned that well, after all you use that same soap on your dishes, if that would be good too.


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## Turtle (Dec 10, 2009)

Emerald said:


> NEVER USE ANY BOTTLE THAT HAS HAD BUG SPRAY OR ROUNDUP IN IT ON YOUR ASS!


That is the funniest thing that I have heard all day!


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## Bigdog57 (Oct 9, 2008)

The anus has ONE layer of cells, and is easily able to absorb toxic things. No, I will NOT tell where I read of this. Use your own Google-Fu.

But..... don't put anything on yer butt you wouldn't put in yer mouth - safer that way. I know this isn't sounding like I want it to - hope you know my meaning...... stay SAFE!!


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## ComputerGuy (Dec 10, 2010)

And never put your mouth on a butt!!


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*My Grand daughter*

:crossfinger:My Grand daughter just started the first grade and just turned five.

A couple of months ago , her Momma told her she had to learn to wipe her own butt because she would be starting school and no one would do this for her at school.

She said she didn't want to because it was discusting but at her momma's insistance she learned to wipe her own butt.

A couple of weeks ago , it was her fifth birthday. Her Momma asked her what she wanted for her birthday and with out hesitation, she asked for a robot.

What kind of robot do you want momma asked?

I want a robot that will wipe my butt says my grand daughter ! 

I told my daughter if she found one, to go ahead and pick up an extra one for me and to make mine taller.


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## ComputerGuy (Dec 10, 2010)

so she wants a Robuttler?


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## Meerkat (May 31, 2011)

Turtle said:


> That is the funniest thing that I have heard all day!


 LOl,me too.:lolsmash:


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## Ponce (May 3, 2009)

Well, I will say nothing because I have 1,750 rolls of tp in stock.... never can tell what someones wife will give me for it.


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## BillS (May 30, 2011)

BillM said:


> Why is everyone so worried about collecting a years supply of toilet paper?
> 
> You can replace toilet paper with an empty spray bottle like "Roundup" or bug spray is sold in.
> 
> ...


Toilet paper is a lot better. Money isn't an issue so I'll stick with toilet paper.


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## Immolatus (Feb 20, 2011)

As much as I would miss TP, there are plenty of substitutes.
My principal worry would be using up potable water.

"Bug spray on your ass"
Priceless.


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*You couldn't*



Immolatus said:


> As much as I would miss TP, there are plenty of substitutes.
> My principal worry would be using up potable water.
> 
> "Bug spray on your ass"
> Priceless.


You couldn't lower your standards just a little and not use the drinking watter to wash your anus ?

:dunno:


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## ajsmith (Feb 1, 2010)

Oh my, now my wife thinks I really am crazy, wiping tears and uncontrollably laughing at the computer. The timing couldn't have been better for this post, thanks. :lolsmash:

Oh and I think I'll stay with T.P. or at least the pages of the phone book.........


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## Jimmy24 (Apr 20, 2011)

Ya'll owe me for one keyboard....:gaah:

I slobbered on it from laughing so hard it's ruined.....:dunno:

Jimmy


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## Immolatus (Feb 20, 2011)

BillM said:


> You couldn't lower your standards just a little and not use the drinking watter to wash your anus ?
> 
> :dunno:


For me any water is potable, and I aint using the leftover dishwater. So, no.

:scratch


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## RevWC (Mar 28, 2011)

I will drag my ass on the carpet like my dog.


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## CVORNurse (Oct 19, 2008)

just buy a bunch of cheap shop rags or wash rags. Cut them in halves or quarters, which ever you prefer. Dampen with water if you wish, and wipe. Keep a bucket by the toilet to deposit them in. Wash in a separate load with bleach and the hottest water you can.


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

CVORNurse said:


> just buy a bunch of cheap shop rags or wash rags. Cut them in halves or quarters, which ever you prefer. Dampen with water if you wish, and wipe. Keep a bucket by the toilet to deposit them in. Wash in a separate load with bleach and the hottest water you can.


Ah, good, someone with sense! We've been doing this since last December, using the saved money to buy edible storage instead of wasting it on TP. I laughed reading the pages of this thread at the same time I shook my head. Sigh...


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*Sears and Robuck*

My uncle said they used the Sears and Robuck catalog in the out house but the way it was laid out , you always got to the slick harness pages right at little green apple season !

:gaah::surrender:


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