# Thinking about useful/useless neighbors



## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

We are 65 and 75 years old. He retired several years ago and I retire at the end of this year. We live in the suburbs of a large city with over 400,000 people. I work at the western edge of the city and my travel time to work is 15 minutes through the woods. Our town has about 20,000 residents and is divided by a dry river. We live in the newer part of town which is south of the river. Our street ends with a sharp left turn 2 houses down from us to the south. To the back of our house is a greenbelt with a creek running through it and another neighborhood across the creek.

The street over to the west of us past the left turn has the home of a retired doctor and a city police officer that we have never met. It is also home to a backyard rooster which is against city rules. I wonder why the police officer allows this.

The couple who lives across the street from us on the corner in that turn are retired – he is 77 and I think she is in her sixties. He is a loudmouthed, exaggerating, nosy, gun owning extrovert. She is much quieter. They go to the casino every day. If you don’t want something known, keep him from knowing or it will be all over town.

Across from us for the past 2 years has lived a single woman in her sixties raising two teenaged grand daughters. Their mother is in prison for murdering their dad who was the neighbors son. Her 76 year old husband was there until lately but he moved out. He visits occasionally. She is very nice.

Next is an 80 something year old widow. Her husband died 2 years ago. She is very nice and helpful to everyone, cooking for the sick or injured, or doing whatever she can for them. Unfortunately, she is another gossip like the man on the corner and when she finds a juicy bit she runs to let him know. When I told her my new hobby is canning, she tried to talk me out of it, but she knows I can. One day when my dh brought in 3 bags of potatoes, she asked him if we really eat that many. I do love her and dread the day she moves back to Jersey to be close to her only child. We have known her 20 years. 

Just past her house is a young widow in her 50s. Her husband died just a few months ago and she has 2 rowdy grown kids who live elsewhere. She works at a bank in the big city.

Next is the home of 2 sisters who apparently make their living buying the contents of storage rental buildings and having yard sales. The side of their house is a mess with plastic tubs and their garage is full. They have lots of yard sales.

Hopping over to my side of the street, there is a cul-de-sac with another back yard rooster. I have been thinking this summer I will take a walk around the homes of the two roosters and stop and ask about buying eggs. May meet a prepper but I will hold my cards close.

On the corner is someone I know nothing about.

Next is a couple who own a welding shop in town and they have a son and daughter who are grown. They probably own at least one gun. The son still lives with them. Both of the kids have always been bad apples. This couple are our friends but in a desperate situation everyone would be their enemy, even us.

Next is a National Guard Sgt and wife and kids. They are very nice and always have lots of NG over to visit. They have an above ground pool. Definitely have guns.

Directly beside us is a single woman who is our friend. She has 2 good watch dogs and an above ground pool. Maybe a pistol. She works at a bank.

The other side of us is a couple who have 2 grown daughters and 1 of them moved back in with her baby yesterday. Probably no guns. They are from Philly. They have an above ground pool. He works for AA and she is a nurse.

Next to them is a new family in the neighborhood. He is an engineer and I don’t know what she does. They have an above ground pool.

The next house is an older lady who has had several strokes and a husband who is younger than her. Their house is huge. I don’t know about a pool. We have only met them at neighborhood watch meetings that we no longer have.

No pools across the street and the women may have a pistol and may not. I know the 80 something widow does not have one.

I know all the neighbors have noticed all the UPS and Fed Ex deliveries we have had the past year and especially the past 2 months. I have really cranked up the buying.

I feel that if something bad goes down in this neighborhood, the only person we could depend on would be the NG Sgt if he is even home. So, we have decided to not depend on anyone but ourselves. There is no way we could move away even though we have no debts and house and cars are paid off.


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## crabapple (Jan 1, 2012)

Do not know much about my neighborhood.
Only one family has been here longer then I.
If it is a shortage of supplies for a short time, we will stay put.
If it is a total game changer, then we will head out for the BOL.
We know most of the people in walking distance of the country home.


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## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

If any of my neighbors read this, you know who I am, so call me. We need to talk.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

We have 4 neighbours, 2 to the North, one on the Eastern side and the fourth on the Southern and Western sides. We never see 2 of them. One is an absentee landholder who uses contractors to look after his cattle, the other lives at the other end of his property, he doesn't use this end of his land as it's thick scrub. Our other northern neighbour is a nice guy, in his 80's now and his grandsons use the property for shooting and motorX. 
The 4th neighbour is a nuisance, hubby took him to court years ago as he shot a $5000 animal of Hubbies that had gotten into his paddock. Livestock getting out is a never ending issue here as the kangaroos ruin the fences on a daily basis, we all accept that and if someones animals get onto your farm you give them a call and help move them back. Not with this guy, he causes everyone headaches. He'll run animals AWAY from their farm and then call the local ranger, grrrrrrrr. Thankfully he has sold the land surrounding us to another local and will no longer be a problem in the future. He also allows ANYONE to hunt on his land, this is a major concern as most are just young lads and have no common sense. Can't wait for our new neighbours to take over


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## OldCootHillbilly (Jul 9, 2010)

I ain't got no neighbors what knows everthin. Some don't know nothin (were gonna keep it thata way!), Some know bits an pieces.

SCUS, ifin I were you, outa all them folks, I'd work on buildin a relationship with the Sgt. Even ifin he had ta be gone when sumtin happens, his family an friends would prolly help when it were needed. Ifin ya hep them, they'll more en likely hep yall when needed.

I just don't trust to many folks no more. It just ain't the wise thin ta do.


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## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

They know we get lots of deliveries but they have not asked what is in them. They know I hate to go shopping so I will tell them I buy everyday household items and have them delivered. That is true. That is what I buy except for the camp stove and things like that.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

SouthCentralUS said:


> They know we get lots of deliveries but they have not asked what is in them. They know I hate to go shopping so I will tell them I buy everyday household items and have them delivered. That is true. That is what I buy except for the camp stove and things like that.


That is my reason for making our postman hike up the driveway with packages. I can't buy everything we need locally so I order online. Anything fresh is part of our Costco run and trips to the market. I really hate leaving the mountain if I don't have to.


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## Tweto (Nov 26, 2011)

The area we live in is private and only home owners are supposed to be in here. The area consists of about 60 homes all on acreages. In between the properties is virgin woods witch makes all the homes very private.

I have two neighbors on my dead end street and both are federal employees in their 50's. Up the street about a quarter mile we have another 3 neighbors, 2 are retired. Most of the home owners (no renters in the area) are in their 50's, 60's and 70's. We have several houses that are unoccupied but are not for sell. The owners have multiple homes and their home here is their BOL. In fact there are no homes for sell here and the last house that was for sell was maybe 2 years ago. The wife and I have lived here for 11 years. There is a town about 3 miles away with 2400 people. 2400 people is actually a large town for Nebraska. The town I lived in before we moved here had 120 people.

Of the 60 homes in the area, maybe a third are retired. About a fourth have gardens and I would guess that most all have firearms. It's not unusual to hear gun fire here. The farmer that lives east of me has a FFL and I have heard automatic gunfire from his place just today.


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## dixiemama (Nov 28, 2012)

We have my husband's parents to the left, his oldest sister in front, an elderly divorcee who prob preps (haven't seen anything concrete but he makes early morning runs a few times a week), then a hunter at the end of the road. Absentee owner on the right. 

Surrounding neighborhood is mix of retirees and couples with small kids. Few druggies, and some that could be a problem in a longterm SHTF. Most have a months worth judging by groceries we see them take in. Us, hubs parents and the divorcee band together when anything happens that affects us (tree down, snowy road) so in a true SHTF I know we will be looking out for each other. The others, we'll just have to see. 

Sent from my MB886 using Survival Forum mobile app


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## Dakine (Sep 4, 2012)

I love everybody... I wake up and say NAMASTE!

But I live in gang land  I think there's something in the air? it's not healthy...


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## cowboyhermit (Nov 10, 2012)

I try to get along with all the neighbors despite any(many?) differences we may have had in the past.

There are several miles of property and many fences between us, this makes it a bit easier


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## Dakine (Sep 4, 2012)

cowboyhermit said:


> I try to get along with all the neighbors despite any(many?) differences we may have had in the past.
> 
> There are several miles of property and many fences between us, this makes it a bit easier


You enjoy separation that I wish I had.


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

All of my plans involve family, not neighbors.


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

Geek999 said:


> All of my plans involve family, not neighbors.


I can see that if someone is planning for a more personal SHTF event (job loss, illness, etc.), then there's no need to consider neighbors, as they won't be a part of the picture. But if a person is concerned about a more wide-spread SHTF event (economic collapse, loss of power grid, etc.), the neighbor issue will be there, unless one's family lives alone on an island.

South Central, I think you are wise to make a realistic assessment of your neighbor situation. This is an area I need to discuss with my husband more, as we do have a volatile situation next door to us (I may be a live-and-let-live kind of gal, but these drug dealers are of the scum kind).

The elderly lady on the other side of our property is nice, but she can't be trusted with a secret or getting a story straight. That makes her harder to know how to handle than the drug dealers - those guys get no consideration from us, except to keep them off our land by any means necessary. But the elderly lady, that's a different story. She has sought our help a number of times (and we've gladly given it), and I have no doubt in a crisis she would come to us. But in a SHTF event, helping her would make us highly vulnerable to anyone she talks to. But to not help out an elderly lady, that just might not be in my husband's and sons' DNA.

All our other neighbors are unknown entities just yet. We have some ideas, but we need to learn more.


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

goshengirl said:


> I can see that if someone is planning for a more personal SHTF event (job loss, illness, etc.), then there's no need to consider neighbors, as they won't be a part of the picture. But if a person is concerned about a more wide-spread SHTF event (economic collapse, loss of power grid, etc.), the neighbor issue will be there, unless one's family lives alone on an island.
> 
> South Central, I think you are wise to make a realistic assessment of your neighbor situation. This is an area I need to discuss with my husband more, as we do have a volatile situation next door to us (I may be a live-and-let-live kind of gal, but these drug dealers are of the scum kind).
> 
> ...


I'm not saying I won't try to get along, but near as I can tell none of them has even tried to prep for the next Hurricane. I can't feed the world and I don't expect many of them would last in a serious SHTF situation. I think they are mostly decent people, but not useful people.

I am prepping for family.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

SouthCentralUS said:


> ...he is 77 and I think she is in her sixties. He is a loudmouthed, exaggerating, nosy, gun owning extrovert. She is much quieter. They go to the casino every day. If you don't want something known, keep him from knowing or it will be all over town.
> 
> Next is an 80 something year old widow....Unfortunately, she is another gossip like the man on the corner and when she finds a juicy bit she runs to let him know....


Very important intelligence that can work to your advantage. 

You patiently wait for the Widow to mention anything about guns and you reply with, "Guns are evil! That's why we don't own one." Widow tells Loudmouth, you're anti-gun.

You patiently wait for the Widow to mention anything about the economy and you reply with, "We've been talking about downsizing or moving out to our son/daughter in (make up a state)." Then have a garage sell a few weeks later to reinforce the idea.

Now the local rumor is that you don't have guns and will be moving soon. Why would anyone think your're preping to bug in? :sssh:


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## Sentry18 (Aug 5, 2012)

I live in a house on a cul-de-sac. There is one rental house in our neighborhood otherwise it's all single-family dwellings. We have two retired military officers, two currently working LEOs, a professor of horticulture at the local university, a retired college professor (engineering) and now ham radio junkie, a single guy who owns an HVAC business, a chiropractor and an older retired couple who very much so keep to themselves (although they are outside a lot). The two retired military guys and I have had more than one conversation about post SHTF scenarios and the other LEO and I have talked about neighborhood security, otherwise preparedness has never really come up. At the same time most of my neighbors are very social. We have a neighborhood block party every year and our "neighborhood watch commander" makes sure that everybody in the neighborhood knows each others names, has their phone numbers (including cell phones), who has pets, etc., etc. Her son is a sergeant with the municipal Police Department, she's been through the citizens police Academy twice and she takes the role very seriously. She is trying to set up a listserv type email system so we can keep each other informed when people will be working on our houses, service calls, having guests, etc. so we know when people will be in the neighborhood that are not normal to the neighborhood.


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## Tacitus (Dec 30, 2012)

cowboyhermit said:


> I try to get along with all the neighbors despite any(many?) differences we may have had in the past.
> 
> There are several miles of property and many fences between us, this makes it a bit easier


*Mending Wall* by Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbour know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
"Stay where you are until our backs are turned!"
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, *"Good fences make good neighbours."*
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
"Why do they make good neighbours? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down." I could say "Elves" to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, *"Good fences make good neighbours."
*


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

Geek999 said:


> I'm not saying I won't try to get along, but near as I can tell none of them has even tried to prep for the next Hurricane. I can't feed the world and I don't expect many of them would last in a serious SHTF situation. I think they are mostly decent people, but not useful people.
> 
> I am prepping for family.


I believe you misunderstand my point. My point is that we are _all _prepping for our families (you're not so different from the rest of us ). Assessing one's neighbors and potential interactions with them is a matter of situation awareness, and situational awareness is, I believe, a necessary part of prepping for one's family (you may disagree with that).

I guess I am confused as to why you would equate someone assessing their neighbor situation with that someone wanting to feed the world. :dunno: Assessing my neighbors isn't a matter of prepping for them - it's a matter of protecting my family. The only way I can protect our preps (and therefor my family) is to be aware of what challenges we may face in our immediate environment.

For example, knowing that our neighbors on our southern property line are a security threat does not mean that I want to feed them. Stocking up on ammo to deal with that threat is not for the neighbors' benefit, it's a matter of prepping for my family. Even figuring out how to deal with nice neighbors is a matter of prepping for my family (we have children and we don't want to be caught off guard when someone comes to us). I have to have that situational awareness first in order to do the best I can for my family.

Everyone's situation is different, and we probably don't all need the same level of situational awareness. But I do think that when the SHTF boundaries (such as property lines) will not be treated the same way they are now, and it is good to have some sort of plan in place for those people nearby who will undoubtedly cross that boundary.


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

goshengirl said:


> I believe you misunderstand my point. My point is that we are _all _prepping for our families (you're not so different from the rest of us ). Assessing one's neighbors and potential interactions with them is a matter of situation awareness, and situational awareness is, I believe, a necessary part of prepping for one's family (you may disagree with that).
> 
> I guess I am confused as to why you would equate someone assessing their neighbor situation with that someone wanting to feed the world. :dunno: Assessing my neighbors isn't a matter of prepping for them - it's a matter of protecting my family. The only way I can protect our preps (and therefor my family) is to be aware of what challenges we may face in our immediate environment.
> 
> ...


I don't think we are in disagreement. I have assessed my neighbors and determined them to be decent people in normal times, but completely unprepared for emergencies and probably not useful in a SHTF situation.

As a result, my plans rely on family.


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

Geek, I think I'm just not doing a good job of getting my point across, so I'm going to let it rest. Have a good one! :wave:


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

I am not sure if it is you or me, but something isn't clicking. We'll have to try another topic.


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## JayJay (Nov 23, 2010)

My perspective will tick all you off:
If I don't know them now, after the EMT van in the drive twice in one year??, why the hell would I want to know these selfish neighbors after a disaster or collapse?
From past behavior, how can they possibly help me?
By taking my stores of 5 years?

As someone here posted:
I have assessed my neighbors and determined (most) of them to be decent people in normal times, but completely unprepared for emergencies and probably not useful in a SHTF situation.

In JayJay's terms...L..I..A..B..I..L..I..T..I..E..S.!!!


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

JayJay said:


> If I don't know them now, after the EMT van in the drive twice in one year??, why the hell would I want to know these selfish neighbors after a disaster or collapse?


Sounds like a fair assessment to me.


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## JayJay (Nov 23, 2010)

goshengirl said:


> Sounds like a fair assessment to me.


My husband of 39 years has beginning dementia(he can't even remember what we buy the next day), a good heart with horrible arteries, an inoperable aneurysm in the base of the neck, painful legs and bad back that are getting steroid shots(against my advice) this May...I have all the liability I need right now.:brickwall:

The neighbors are on their own when TSHTF. Send those babies to my door, and I will not answer.

Note to self: buy more fire extinguishers.

Do you think me cruel and unchristian?? Did those neighbors show a Christian, or even a neighborly, attitude when I needed help??
I Timothy 5:8....Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

I know a little of my Bible.


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## goshengirl (Dec 18, 2010)

JayJay said:


> Do you think me cruel and unchristian?? Did those neighbors show a Christian, or even a neighborly, attitude when I needed help??
> I Timothy 5:8....Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
> 
> I know a little of my Bible.


Is this directed at me? If so, I'm not sure why. :dunno:

There may be some folks who live in a situation where there's a chance for community-building, and in a way, I envy that. I don't believe that's possible in every area - maybe not even in most areas. I don't think it's likely in my area, and it sounds like you feel the same way about your neighborhood. Like I said, it sounds like you've made a fair assessment.


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## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

TheLazyL said:


> Very important intelligence that can work to your advantage.
> 
> You patiently wait for the Widow to mention anything about guns and you reply with, "Guns are evil! That's why we don't own one." Widow tells Loudmouth, you're anti-gun.
> 
> ...


This lady is a Jersey girl who never learned to pump gas into her car. When she is low on gas one of the neighbors has to go to the gas station with her. No way is she going to mention guns. She talks about her latest craft projects, cooking and the latest gossip in the neighborhood.

She thinks I am nuts for buying a pressure canner.

Also, when I have a yard sale, she comes over and snoops into every little thing. Nothing gets by her.


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## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

Thanks for all the comments. Gives me ideas to think about. 2 years ago we planned a block cookout which never took place. Maybe I could get that done this summer. I will definitely check out the roosters and the Sgt.


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## Geek999 (Jul 9, 2013)

SouthCentralUS said:


> This lady is a Jersey girl who never learned to pump gas into her car. When she is low on gas one of the neighbors has to go to the gas station with her. No way is she going to mention guns. She talks about her latest craft projects, cooking and the latest gossip in the neighborhood.
> 
> She thinks I am nuts for buying a pressure canner.
> 
> Also, when I have a yard sale, she comes over and snoops into every little thing. Nothing gets by her.


so does that make her useful or useless?


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## SouthCentralUS (Nov 11, 2012)

Useful in some ways but keep everything from her eyes and ears. The skills she has are sewing and cooking. She loves to make people happy but she knows nothing about roughing it. She would tell everyone within earshot to come here and be taken care of.


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## JayJay (Nov 23, 2010)

goshengirl said:


> Is this directed at me? If so, I'm not sure why. :dunno:


Definitely not--this is a question all must be content with in their hearts and souls.
We all have reasons we have different solutions and most here have a need to feed their children.
It will test us all---but I stand by my scripture.

If I was frivolous and spent all my money on haircuts, clothes, entertainment, sculptured nails, cable, new car payments, vacations, blings, $5 coffee, theater, and this is just a beginning.....I'd not expect neighbors to feed me.

Example: I have a neighbor(we shared some ideas about dehydrating because she has an old dehydrator found in the garage) but she has a one year-old car she is paying monthly for and didn't have the money for a vacuum sealer ($50) and still says she's gonna get one soon.
Oh, she is 67 years old. Am I judging?/ Nope--as long as she doesn't ask me to feed her great-grandchildren, grandchildren, and children when this economy collapses and she doesn't get her SS check.
Some never learn.

Rant over...:brickwall:


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## cantinawest (Nov 9, 2011)

*Good neighborhood, but still lacking in preps.*

We have been working to help get our neighbors (immediate and a little more distant) to get more prepared and we are having some success.

As I mentioned in another post we have been able to help about 10 of them to obtain 16 water storage tanks (250 gal) and now we have just helped a bunch of people in the general area to obtain a total of about 42 Solar Cookers (Sun Ovens, Solar Burner Parabolics, Hot Pots and a few other solar cookers). And we even helped some purchase rocket stoves.

We organized a group buy and the response was quite pleasing.
And, the enthusiasm is starting to catch on a little bit more amongst those who had been a little more blase in their approach to preparedness.

The more people we can help the better it will be for all of us in our area.


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## bkt (Oct 10, 2008)

I'm also in a suburban environment and get along fine with my neighbors but I only know two who would be worth going to for certain situations requiring defending the area.

There's a cop who lives up the street but he seems to be a bit of an ass; isn't neighborly in the slightest. He's not someone I'd go to....

The rest are nice people and would do whatever they could to help, but I don't think most of them are into prepping at all.

Where I am, I have a lake to the north, a bay to the east, a river to the west and an urban center to the south jam-packed with exactly the sort of folks you do not want to mess with in the event of an economic catastrophe and their EBT cards don't work.

In other words, I'm cut off. But I keep my ear to the ground and at the first sign of a really serious event, I have multiple bug-out routes and bug-out locations. That would suck...no one likes the idea of leaving their home and that would not be a decision easily-made. But it pays to know what and who is around you.


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## JayJay (Nov 23, 2010)

The title?? thinking about useful/useless neighbors??

You mean there's more than one kind??


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