# You May Be Preppers If.....



## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

Haven't been here in a while, thought we could have some fun. I always enjoyed Foxworthy's "You may be a ******* if..." mainly because I have lived or seen many of those. 

The media has demonized the term "survivalist." If some guy shoots a couple of cops and runs into the woods, he's instantly a "ssurvivalisst" (hiss a bit and make it sound evil). So we are preppers. 

You may be preppers if...

...your pantry is bigger than your kitchen and has its own shopping cart. (OK, it's a short cart and she found it by the road).


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

You may be a prepper if you open your car trunk to stow your groceries and it looks like you are going on a long camping trip.


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

I know that one! GHB backpack, axe, shovel, box of gear, gas can, etc..... 

You may be preppers if.... you know she's wearing one, so you ask your wife why there's a matching gun in her purse, along with enough ammo and spare cutlery to make it hard to lift, and she smiles and replies sweetly, "Two is one, and one is none..."


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## Sentry18 (Aug 5, 2012)

If you keep a loaded backpack and a loaded rifle in your car when you drive to the store _just in case_...you might be a prepper.

If you have more canned goods than a small town elementary school cafeteria...you might be a prepper.

If you know 7 different ways to start a fire and are still not satisfied...you might be a prepper.

If your name is on a list in a government office that is not _supposed_ to exist...you might be a prepper.

If you would never go into the woods with your cat completely unprepared...you might be a prepper.


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## phxrising (Jun 24, 2012)

When your neighbor comes over to borrow an egg, you give them a tablespoon of dehydrated egg powder.


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

You have an emergency generator for your house, and an identical backup to that... and a little old Onan in a shed, just in case....


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## hiwall (Jun 15, 2012)

You might be a prepper if when you open the junk drawer in the kitchen it contains 27 different flashlights and several packs of spare batteries.


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## FatTire (Mar 20, 2012)

Your idea of precious metals includes lead...

The power going out is relaxing not stressful...

Your book list puts you on a watch list...

You can spot edible and medicinal plants driving down the freeway...

You don't understand why 'normal people' don't get excited about water storage..


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

You live near a large mountain creek that flows into a substantial river, and your well is good, but your wife stores water, just in case... 

You have five operable chainsaws, two parts saws, but consider finding another small saw a plus, and really want to get some crosscut saws, just in case... 

The "pinch" light on your keychain is a backup to the light in your shirt pocket, that's a backup to the one on your waist - even when you're not at work.


OH, and I love the one about the power going out. I'm actually disappointed when the outage is too short to justify lighting part of my kerosene lamp collection. 

Hmm... You may be a Prepper if you've been a Hydroelectric Operator for decades, keeping the lights on for civilization, but you personally collect kerosene lamps.


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

You may be a prepper if you have more Benadryl in your storeroom than the local Walmart has on the shelves.

You may be a prepper if you read an article about someone having a thousand rounds of ammo in their possession and the only thought that comes to mind is "that's all???"

You may be a prepper if you are excited about finding an real honest-to-goodness bottle opener (old 'church key' kind) in the junk drawer at the thrift store. Actually, you may be a prepper if you find great delight in going through the junk drawer at the thrift store.

You may be a prepper if you meticulously go through all the change you received during a given period to see if there are any old dimes and quarters in the bunch.

You may be a prepper if you also have a Plan B and a Plan C. Maybe a D, E, and F depending on your circumstances.

You are a prepper if you root for the cat to come out of the forest alive and healthy sans owner.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

You may be a prepper when you can get through a security check point (like the ones at theme parks) and still have all your EDC equipment on you undetected.

You may be a prepper if you are the first to pull out a lighter and you don't smoke.

You may be a prepper if you haven't been to the grocery store in more than 6 months except to add more to your stores during the sales.

You may be a prepper if at least one of your pets/animals is named after a firearm or piece of military gear.


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## FatTire (Mar 20, 2012)

You're a single male and you have tampons and maxipads as part of your trauma kit


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

You may be a prepper if your child in scouts knows more about camping/wilderness survival and more practice than their troop leader.


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## jnrdesertrats (Jul 3, 2010)

You might be a prepper if part planning a road trip includes taking everything you need in case you have to walk back. Particularly your wifes sensible shoes not just the pretty ones she is wearing.


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## VoorTrekker (Oct 7, 2012)

You may be a "prepper" if your house is full of supplies, emergency supplies and gear and you rent a storage space for household goods...


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## Woody (Nov 11, 2008)

You might be a prepper if:

You hear of a big storm coming! You JUMP up and run around... Do I have flashlights scattered around, do they work, do I have extra batteries? Lanterns! Water! Food! Gas enough to cook with, warm clothing...!!! And... a few minutes later you sit back down on the couch and the only thing you really needed to do was make sure the shed door was closed tightly.

You finish off a bag of dog food (for the puppy not me!!) and grab one from the storage room. You realize this puts your stored supplies under your 'feel good' amount of time to be stocked up for and plan an emergency trip to town later that week to get another one.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

You know you may be a prepper when your wife asks you if there is "X" in your stores when she runs out of it in the kitchen.

You may be a prepper if your home is full of 'antiques' your family thinks of as junk and you think of them as an insurance policy for an EMP.


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

OH yeah, she keeps the hiking boots & socks in the trunk with the GHB. Life is easier for guys who wear suitable boots at work. 


You may be preppers if...

...your key ring includes a P38.

...you think about the lockblade on the right, Leatherman WAVE on left belt, neck knife and Bowen Survivor belt buckle, and momentarily think you have four blades - only because you forgot the blade on the backup mini Leatherman in your left pocket.

...it's nearly two decades since your wife was a cop, yet you both have handcuff keys, including small plastic ones in 3 colors.

...you build a custom towbar for a small pickup, and you're proud that the piece of metal you saved for 25 years was just what you needed.


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## jeff47041 (Jan 5, 2013)

UncleJoe said:


> You may be a prepper if your local neighborhood store calls and asks if you have any "xxxxx" in stock.


My local hardware store actually did that 3 months ago. They know I keep more in stock than they do. Truth be told though, I went to school with them and we are friends.


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## jeff47041 (Jan 5, 2013)

You might be a prepper if:
Your kids and grand kids know what opsec means.
You have enough toilet paper for 10 people for 2 years.


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## Woody (Nov 11, 2008)

jeff47041 said:


> My local hardware store actually did that 3 months ago. They know I keep more in stock than they do. Truth be told though, I went to school with them and we are friends.


So YOU are the guy they call when they don't have something and they say "Let me make a call, we might have one in storage..."


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## mojo4 (Feb 19, 2012)

You might be a prepper if you volunteer for the church food drive so you can learn the recipe for the survival rice meals sent overseas.


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## mariah2430 (Sep 19, 2014)

You might be a prepper if you cant walk past a grocery without checking for sales on non perishables .


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

You may be preppers if:

...your wife comes home with new metal garbage cans - not because you need more garbage cans, but because they'll make good Faraday cages to store portable electronics in case of an EMP - and because she can use some for rodent proof storage of dry staples.

...you have multiple 1/4 mile rolls of 4-barb wire, the hottest fence charger available, *and* a small transformer that can change a fence from painful to lethal - just in case... And your wife still wants razor wire.

...you like Winco because they sell food grade buckets and Gamma Seal lids cheaper than your online source.


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