# Friend Network



## sgtusmc98 (Sep 8, 2013)

I know everyone is aware of how important it is to have good relationships with people, in less than a week my wife and I had two vehicle breakdowns, first one of the metal break lines in my truck blew out late at night ( how do you prevent that other than just replacing every 10 years or so)? And today her transmission went out. Both vehicles receive maintenance and hers is only 8 years old. Point being if we didn't have good friends it would have been much more difficult to get through, getting home and all. We can't underestimate the value of people who are willing to help.


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## CrackbottomLouis (May 20, 2012)

A good network of like minded people you can trust is an important survival tool and often the hardest one to acquire.


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## hashbrown (Sep 2, 2013)

My "friend network" just makes a lot of extra work for me.


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## jeff47041 (Jan 5, 2013)

hashbrown said:


> My "friend network" just makes a lot of extra work for me.


I'm right there with you on that!
I like that people know they can count on me, but it would be nice if I could have a weekend to do my own stuff once in a while.

It drives my lovely wife crazy. What really gets her is when people come to my house and ask if I have something they need for a repair when stores are still open. (I keep A LOT of stuff in stock) 
They really just know that if they come asking for something, I'll end up helping them fix the problem. It's really hard to say no to some people.


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## sgtusmc98 (Sep 8, 2013)

There is a difference between needy people and those that you have a helping relationship with that's for sure!


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## hashbrown (Sep 2, 2013)

jeff47041 said:


> I'm right there with you on that!
> I like that people know they can count on me, but it would be nice if I could have a weekend to do my own stuff once in a while.
> 
> It drives my lovely wife crazy. What really gets her is when people come to my house and ask if I have something they need for a repair when stores are still open. (I keep A LOT of stuff in stock)
> They really just know that if they come asking for something, I'll end up helping them fix the problem. It's really hard to say no to some people.


I know exactly what you are talking about! One of the biggest problems for me though is my wifes family. My family can do anything they set there mind to, very self reliant folk but my wife has 4 sisters 3 of which are unwed the other is married to a dead beat that wont keep a job. It's almost like I have to keep 4 households rolling at times and have a fleet of crappy cars to keep on the road. I've tried to set the the sisters up with good men but they seem more interested in the type of guys that wear the flannel shirts and skinny jeans that have the Grizzly Adams beards that can't even change a flat tire but can play the hell out of a video game.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

hashbrown said:


> I know exactly what you are talking about! One of the biggest problems for me though is my wifes family. My family can do anything they set there mind to, very self reliant folk but my wife has 4 sisters 3 of which are unwed the other is married to a dead beat that wont keep a job. It's almost like I have to keep 4 households rolling at times and have a fleet of crappy cars to keep on the road. I've tried to set the the sisters up with good men but they seem more interested in the type of guys that wear the flannel shirts and skinny jeans that have the Grizzly Adams beards that can't even change a flat tire but can play the hell out of a video game.


OMG! Is your wife related to K?! His sisters and brothers are just like that! They can't do anything for them selves and had always wanted K to do it all for them. That is until I put my foot down. I insisted on a tit for tat relationship with them after Roo was born. I couldn't get our budget under control with a new baby when we were always making sure one sister had clothes for her 5 year old and food, taking the other sister to dinner and helping with car repairs, and putting gas in one brother's car weekly cause he never seemed to have any money (but made the same as K if not more). They actually told K last Christmas (2014) he had to choose between me or them. He chose Roo and I of course. Haven't heard from them since and I am a lot happier for it.

I have no use for stupid people or those who do not want to take care of themselves in any way.


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## Sentry18 (Aug 5, 2012)

Once my wife put her SUV in the ditch while driving home in unexpected poor winter weather. She called me, I called the local Sheriff (out of my district), he called a farmer who lived a couple miles down the road (who was also on the county's CERT). Twenty minutes or so later she was back on the road (to a nearby hotel). 4-5 years later I get a call in my office from that same Sheriff telling me he his daughter now lives in my area and was having trouble with an ex-boyfriend that couldn't let go. I grabbed up one of my Detectives (Big Mike - 6'11" 350lbs) and paid that young man a social call. He decided to let go. Sometimes a network of friends just manifests.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

For a number of years, I did temporary work in the summer, when school was out for the summer. I would work in offices that had people out on vacations or sick leave and would be coming back.

One summer, I worked in an office with a man who had been an inventor. He told me he had invented metal devices that collected water in the deserts and had lots of them in the mid east. At one time he was a millionaire and had lots of friends. Then he went broke, and he had no friends. Interesting how that works.

I know someone who calls me any time they need something, but won't answer the phone if I call them. It is good to know and to realize who your real friends are.


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## hashbrown (Sep 2, 2013)

Grimm said:


> OMG! Is your wife related to K?! His sisters and brothers are just like that! They can't do anything for them selves and had always wanted K to do it all for them. That is until I put my foot down. I insisted on a tit for tat relationship with them after Roo was born. I couldn't get our budget under control with a new baby when we were always making sure one sister had clothes for her 5 year old and food, taking the other sister to dinner and helping with car repairs, and putting gas in one brother's car weekly cause he never seemed to have any money (but made the same as K if not more). They actually told K last Christmas (2014) he had to choose between me or them. He chose Roo and I of course. Haven't heard from them since and I am a lot happier for it.
> 
> I have no use for stupid people or those who do not want to take care of themselves in any way.


Sounds like they could be! Over this weekend I spent 300 to get the one with the deadbeat husband utilities turned back on, they have 3 little girls and a little boy if not I would have told them to pound sand. Funny thing about it these women all have college degrees and always looked down on my wife for dropping out of school and moving out when she was 16. Now they come to her for help which I do for her not them.


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## Balls004 (Feb 28, 2015)

I discovered a very long time ago that it only takes a little bit of trouble on your part to find out who your friends really are. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have, I would do anything in the world for. 

Maybe that's why I suck at Facebook. Just kidding, I've never been there.


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## tsrwivey (Dec 31, 2010)

jeff47041 said:


> They really just know that if they come asking for something, I'll end up helping them fix the problem. It's really hard to say no to some people.


Have your wife talk to them, I bet she won't have a problem telling them no! :laugh: they can learn how to fix most things on YouTube.


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## Tweto (Nov 26, 2011)

Friends, friends, friends.

I have a ton of "friends". They all what me to do something for them or borrow tools or give them money. But, I have no memory of even one of them ever volunteering to help me with anything.

Of course it doesn't help that I'm the only male in my family and that my wife is always "loaning" me out to her girls friends that aren't married.

I had one occasion when a coworker wanted to learn something about her car, so I haul about 100 pounds of tools over to her house and preceded to show her how to do normal maintenance. About half way through doing the oil change she decided she needed to go to the grocery store, I didn't see her for hours. I became apparent that she didn't want to learn anything, she just wanted me to fix her car.

I came to the conclusion that a real friend doesn't want anything from me and after looking at all the people that I know, I found 3.


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## jnrdesertrats (Jul 3, 2010)

I have very few friends and I like it that way.

One day an attractive lady came to the door and said " will you jump me " I said I am down but you better ask the wife. Then I said oh you mean your car. I still crack up every time I think about the look on her face.:laugh:


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

Tweto said:


> I had one occasion when a coworker wanted to learn something about her car, so I haul about 100 pounds of tools over to her house and preceded to show her how to do normal maintenance. About half way through doing the oil change she decided she needed to go to the grocery store, I didn't see her for hours. I became apparent that she didn't want to learn anything, she just wanted me to fix her car.
> 
> I came to the conclusion that a real friend doesn't want anything from me and after looking at all the people that I know, I found 3.


Some people are taught this sense of helplessness and entitlement, men and women alike. Some people do have more aptitude for certain things, while others have more of an interest in manipulating others to take care of them. My guess is that we all know people who do not have their priorities straight and are willing for anyone else to rescue them when they have bought plenty of booze and drugs and luxury items and have not paid rent, utilities, and other essentials.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

jeff47041 said:


> ...but it would be nice if I could have a weekend to do my own stuff once in a while...It's really hard to say no to some people.


My wife and I are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. She says, "Yes" and then becomes stressed and cries because she's committed to multiable directions at the same time. I have no problem saying, "No" especially if I already have commitments, feel the other person is taking advantage of me or I just don't want to. Gives me free time to help those that really need help.

Sister-in-law let her stool leak over the years and now the bathroom floor joists have rotted. Stool has sunk about a 1"!

Wife volunteers me to fix the floor.

No basement or crawl space under the bathroom, which means I'll have to remove the sink, tub and stool to rip up the whole floor and rebuild. I figure every evening and Saturday for a month, I said, "No."

Wife is now upset with me because she said yes and promise her sister.

SIL is mad at me because her "poor is me" routine doesn't work on me.

Wife gives her sister some money (from the wife's funds) towards fixing the bathroom.

SIL hires a Contractor then stiffs him on most of the bill.

Wife complains about her credit card debit and is mad at me because her "poor is me" routine doesn't work on me because I refuse to pay off her debit. You would think after 30 years of marriage she'd have that figured out by now.

:gaah:


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## crabapple (Jan 1, 2012)

sgtusmc98 said:


> There is a difference between needy people and those that you have a helping relationship with that's for sure!


I agree.

I have helped my friends, most do not have a truck & need to move or haul something.

My wife car went out & we where trying to find a good deal or repair the Van.
On the phone DW says we are looking for a car & the friend said "Oh, you can use our truck until you get your car back"
The thing is even tho we have known them for many year, if you had ask me who would loan me their car. This person would not have been on the very short list.
We worked in BSA together & we helped her son out after she had move to another state.
But I never thought she would say here keep it as long as you need it we are not using it.
You never know who your friends are until you stranded in the rain in the middle of the night & they come to your aid.


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