# How do you deal with ignorant parents?



## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

I'm having a big dilemma here that I have been trying to deal with and could use some advice. I'm 20 (Yeah I get it the young inexperienced guy..yada yada yada) and I have a very careing but also very very ignorant parent who cannot go one day without thinking everyone else causes her problems, all men are pricks and abusive and that when the SHTF cops and the government is going to save everyone. She doesn't trust me for some reason even though my whole life I have proven everyone wrong about what they think of me, I'm not super smart but when next to family members and the people that live in my area I stand out and I'm much more politically educated than them by far. I'm the only one in my area that I know of that has a prepper mindset, I know how to handload, Bushcraft, clean water (In more than 2 ways), how to decontaminate myself and others from radiation and many other things so even though I'm 20 I'm not a newbe since prepping is kinda what I do for fun. I'm going to be okay when SHTF (After I find some prepping friends) but the only thing I don't know what to do about is family and parents. :dunno:

I live in New York (Yes the communist state Lol) so even though most of my family voted for Trump and has a bit of sense they still have that built in sense of safety from government and they don't belive anything could happen on the real life scale I talk about. Sure some understand if the power went off in the winter we would be cold and all of that but as for anything that lasts more than a month they just can't think of it. My mom is in her 50s and besides being stubborn as a mule I don't know if she could handle travel in a SHTF situation even if she had to. I'm a big guy and I know it would be hard for me too but I'm going to just be able to sleep stuff off most of the time, I don't think she could do that since she deals with pain allot (She says she does at least, idk if it's exaggerated or not). 


It might seem like a simple choice but since it's my mom it's not. 


And for the people who say just talk to her about it, that doesn't work. It just turns into yelling and nothing gets done. So not an option, most preppers I think would understand that some people won't change until it happens.


I know that was long but any advice would help, thanks.


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

You're 20 so I'm guessing that you have your own place. Don't pick fights with Mom, it won't get you where you want to go. Just prep for one extra person. She took care of you for enough years. For kids or parents just put extra food and supplies away. Everyone else, too bad so sad, you can't prep for the whole world.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

Caribou said:


> You're 20 so I'm guessing that you have your own place. Don't pick fights with Mom, it won't get you where you want to go. Just prep for one extra person. She took care of you for enough years. For kids or parents just put extra food and supplies away. Everyone else, too bad so sad, you can't prep for the whole world.


Yeah I will try that, more food and water preps is fine. I don't know about gear or anything though since that's pricey to get just for me.


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## AmishHeart (Jun 10, 2016)

Well, get a job, stay out of debt, and don't argue with Mom. Increase your preps and skills. Maybe Mom would enjoy some prepping, like cooking from scratch, because you know, it's better for your health than all those preservatives. Getting in shape with you, and it might help her pain. Find ways to make it a positive instead of a lecture. No one liked to hear chicken little yell that the sky is gonna fall. It makes people feel better to think that nothing is going to happen. Work on you without lecturing, and things will come into place. Sounds like you've already warned her.


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## camo2460 (Feb 10, 2013)

Don't fall into the shiney gadget trap, as you said they are expensive. Shelter, Fire, Food, and Water are the most important things in a survival situation, but beyond that Knowledge is what will save you. Knowing how to do things without the shiney dodads such as building a proper shelter, making a fire with out Matches, knowing how to find and use Edible and Medicinal Plants. One other thing that will help is to learn a Skill such as Blacksmithing, Wood working using old fashined Tools, or even advanced First Aid will go a long way towards ensuring you survival in a bad situation.


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## Resto (Sep 7, 2012)

Rice is cheap and you can add anything to it, Like any safe to eat Creature for protein Fat Taste. Water Filtration. Preps don't have to cost too much. Good Knife Ax Hatchet Paracord. Things like that. Sounds like you have some things covered already. As for convincing Mom, SHTF should do that if she makes it. Hunger is a pretty good Foundation for Logic. So Id just back away from the Subject and like others have said "Prep for 2". You know her better than I do, but I feel I have to ask you to ask yourself, "Will I Die Because Of Her and Am I OK With That"? People Change when they cant live the way they are used to and Hope will be Hard to come by. You will Change, I will Change, She Will Change post SHTF. Everything will Change.


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

November_Ninth said:


> Yeah I will try that, more food and water preps is fine. I don't know about gear or anything though since that's pricey to get just for me.


You need a camp stove or other way to cook but you don't need two stoves just because you are prepping for her also. The same is true with a Berkley or what ever water filter you choose. You need twice the water storage but the water can come out of the tap. Get the extra food, the rest will sort itself out.

Also, two is one and one is none. You will eventually double up on many things just to have a spare. In a pinch Mom can use your spares.

Forget about converting Mom, the harder you push the more she will dig her heals in.


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## AmmoSgt (Apr 13, 2014)

Parents are funny.. especially when it comes to survival and hard times. They probably won't really respect your survival skills and wisdom until you have done what they have done survival wise. Which is basically have a kid and keep them alive for 20 some years and prep them to survive in the everyday world and give them the skills to continue surviving after they have passed.

Respect gets you respect, smarts can just piss other folks off ( eventually, if you really are smart or wise and they maybe try out some of your ideas, smart can sometimes get you respect)... especially when you don't respect the fact that they have brought a life into this world and kept it alive long enough for it to think it is so much smarter than they are.

Whether you know it or not, that is very hard and requires a whole lot of self sacrifice .. ever ask them how many times you almost died growing up? How many times they got you thru a 104+ fever or life threatening diarrhea? ( biggest killer of children) How many times they feared you were so sick or so injured that your continued existence was really in question? Or that you might not fully recover and have a life long disability? How many times their lives turned to crap and times were hard? How many times they weren't sure they would be able to, or couldn't see a clear path to giving you the start in life they hoped to give you? How many times they had to put aside their pride, maybe take some crap job, to make sure you had what your needed to be healthy and happy? How many second jobs? Sometimes just keeping the wheels on, a roof over your head, and three squares, and clothes nice enough your didn't get teased, in average times is tough. Odds are they had to make some heartbreaking choices and sacrifices to provide for you, odds are they had some rough patches in their marriage and had to swallow their pride and make it work to give you the best shot they could, not saying they did, just saying the odds are better than 50/50 they did. You have spent most of your life totally clueless, to more or less clueless, about adult concerns.. chances are they really didn't let a whole lot of bad times in many ways and manifestations ever touch you, and you never had to even notice. 

You getting a handle on that reality would be a way to find a starting point to communicate how smart you are.. actually doing it would be impressive to most (grand)parents.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

AmmoSgt said:


> Parents are funny.. especially when it comes to survival and hard times. They probably won't really respect your survival skills and wisdom until you have done what they have done survival wise. Which is basically have a kid and keep them alive for 20 some years and prep them to survive in the everyday world and give them the skills to continue surviving after they have passed.
> 
> Respect gets you respect, smarts can just piss other folks off ( eventually, if you really are smart or wise and they maybe try out some of your ideas, smart can sometimes get you respect)... especially when you don't respect the fact that they have brought a life into this world and kept it alive long enough for it to think it is so much smarter than they are.
> 
> ...


Hey pal I know everything about what happened, I have talked to her many times about her past and I know how she was brought up. I also know how she was abused by my father, I know how I grew up without a father and had to learn on my own, I know how I was abused in school by school staff and had my head repeatedly slammed in the floor ever time I chose to stik up for someone or myself, I know how I was beat and thrown around by other kids in school my whole life, I know how I was send off 100+ miles away 3 times because when I turned 10 I started kicking the shit out of those same kids, I know how I died when I was born because my heart stopped and my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, I know how I fractured my neck on the way to school in a bus crash, I know how I have been pore my whole life and how for the past 5 years I live in a house without heat, an empty fridge 80% of the time and not many clothes without holes in them. I have been through wrose shit than she ever has and worse shit than most people ever will, I don't plan on getting anything from nobody. I know many more things that I care not to share on this public forum, so...do not ever..tell me I have lived my life clueless.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

Caribou said:


> You need a camp stove or other way to cook but you don't need two stoves just because you are prepping for her also. The same is true with a Berkley or what ever water filter you choose. You need twice the water storage but the water can come out of the tap. Get the extra food, the rest will sort itself out.
> 
> Also, two is one and one is none. You will eventually double up on many things just to have a spare. In a pinch Mom can use your spares.
> 
> Forget about converting Mom, the harder you push the more she will dig her heals in.


Yeah Lol I'm starting to see that, as for the preps I know I don't need two of everything. I was kinda talking about Armor and other things like that, food and water preps I will be okay with getting not really worried there.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

Resto said:


> Rice is cheap and you can add anything to it, Like any safe to eat Creature for protein Fat Taste. Water Filtration. Preps don't have to cost too much. Good Knife Ax Hatchet Paracord. Things like that. Sounds like you have some things covered already. As for convincing Mom, SHTF should do that if she makes it. Hunger is a pretty good Foundation for Logic. So Id just back away from the Subject and like others have said "Prep for 2". You know her better than I do, but I feel I have to ask you to ask yourself, "Will I Die Because Of Her and Am I OK With That"? People Change when they cant live the way they are used to and Hope will be Hard to come by. You will Change, I will Change, She Will Change post SHTF. Everything will Change.


Thanks I do plan on getting allot more rice, and a Berkey when I can.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

AmishHeart said:


> Well, get a job, stay out of debt, and don't argue with Mom. Increase your preps and skills. Maybe Mom would enjoy some prepping, like cooking from scratch, because you know, it's better for your health than all those preservatives. Getting in shape with you, and it might help her pain. Find ways to make it a positive instead of a lecture. No one liked to hear chicken little yell that the sky is gonna fall. It makes people feel better to think that nothing is going to happen. Work on you without lecturing, and things will come into place. Sounds like you've already warned her.


I don't really know how to make corrupt overpowering government sound positive or explaining things so they sound positive, it's like trying to squeeze water out of a stone since there really isn't anything positive about any type of SHTF. But yes I have warned her..many..many times, kinda done with that though. Just going to prep for two like everyone says and hush about it.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

camo2460 said:


> Don't fall into the shiney gadget trap, as you said they are expensive. Shelter, Fire, Food, and Water are the most important things in a survival situation, but beyond that Knowledge is what will save you. Knowing how to do things without the shiney dodads such as building a proper shelter, making a fire with out Matches, knowing how to find and use Edible and Medicinal Plants. One other thing that will help is to learn a Skill such as Blacksmithing, Wood working using old fashined Tools, or even advanced First Aid will go a long way towards ensuring you survival in a bad situation.


My Bushcraft is okay so I know how to build a okay shelter without tools, I wouldn't use matches even if I had them (Fire steel is better tbh) there is the bow thing but I would just grab two rocks with enough Iron in them to spark, more practice is better though of course. Some plants I know about but still working on that, as for the advanced first aid I know how to take care of bullet wounds already and how to use a chest seal. So yeah more things to work on, there always will be


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## AmmoSgt (Apr 13, 2014)

November_Ninth said:


> Hey pal I know everything about what happened, I have talked to her many times about her past and I know how she was brought up. I also know how she was abused by my father, I know how I grew up without a father and had to learn on my own, I know how I was abused in school by school staff and had my head repeatedly slammed in the floor ever time I chose to stik up for someone or myself, I know how I was beat and thrown around by other kids in school my whole life, I know how I was send off 100+ miles away 3 times because when I turned 10 I started kicking the shit out of those same kids, I know how I died when I was born because my heart stopped and my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck, I know how I fractured my neck on the way to school in a bus crash, I know how I have been pore my whole life and how for the past 5 years I live in a house without heat, an empty fridge 80% of the time and not many clothes without holes in them. I have been through wrose shit than she ever has and worse shit than most people ever will, I don't plan on getting anything from nobody. I know many more things that I care not to share on this public forum, so...do not ever..tell me I have lived my life clueless.


Sorry we're getting of on the wrong foot here, and sorry you have had a hard life. But I think you are missing my point .. there is a difference between taking care of others and taking care of yourself. I'm not sure what you are asking, given your response. I see two possibilities based on your response and OP.

You say you eventually prove most people wrong about you, why are they so often wrong about you?

Anyway the two possibilities, maybe your mom has been let down too many times to trust promises by people close to her? and maybe you were a handful to raise and caused her problems she didn't need? Or to put it another way, the way your handled some situations growing up was not the way she wanted you to handle them and you chose, for your own good reasons, not to cooperate with her wishes.

Why do you need your mother's or your family's co-operation or consent for you to prep for them? Most preppers have at least a few skeptics that they include in the preps simply because they are family or friends? And do you routinely come across so harsh when somebody trying to help says something that you don't like? That could cause folks you are trying to help to turn away if they get that kind of response when they give their advice/ opinion of the subject to you or don't agree with your assessment of the situation.

Sounds like you had lot of responsibility put on you when you were very young.


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## readytogo (Apr 6, 2013)

Number one here; refrain from calling your parent or parents ignorant because in all actuality we are all ignorant in one subject or another; Second surviving a shtf situation requires respect amount the family or group and calling each others names is not going to make a bad situation any better; and Third you can start by buying supplies for more people in this case your parent/parents ,not overspending on advertise junk and learning as much as possible on emergency preps and basic food preparations and preservation ,that way you won`t be ignorant yourself.


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## Tweto (Nov 26, 2011)

I completely understand the type of mother you have because mine was the same. My mother hated men, she was a women's liber and I had to listen to her rants all my life about how women are superior to men in every way. Nothing bad that happened to her was ever her fault and in the 78 years she was alive she never once ever said that she was sorry or that she made a mistake. I'm the only male in my family and I became the butt of my mother's and sisters jokes (yes my mother instilled her beliefs into at least one of my sisters). When ever I was sick I was on my own (my mother was always too busy). 

BTW I never had a father, he left after my mother kept getting pregnant by other men while he was in Korea.

Now to the important stuff.

Over the years she became very needy, she ended up marring 5 times for short periods until she found out they didn't have any money. So I became the default whenever she needed something. It got to the point that my mother was a part time job for me and when I started to refuse to help she would put a guilt trip on me. I had been married 20 years by this time and my main focus was my family. Eventually she went the worst way she could and tried to break my marriage up by having my former girlfriends at her house whenever I came over to work on something. This was just further proof that she though that all men could be manipulated and are weak willed.

I have always been a prepper even as a kid I would hide food under my bed because there was never any in the house. She even started to consider my prepping a mental illness and she sent me to a therapist. The therapist said I was one of the most mentally health people he as ever had in his office and told me not to come back. He did however gave me a warning that if I let my mother influence my life that I would suffer from depression and that I needed to cut ties to her. This was the best advice I ever got.

Here's the point of my post. Your mother will probably get worse as she ages. Be aware of this. At age 20 it may not be apparent to you yet. 

The more I reflect on my upbringing the more I understand why I'am the way I am and why I'm a prepper


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

November_Ninth said:


> I'm having a big dilemma here that I have been trying to deal with and could use some advice. ...very very ignorant parent who cannot go one day without thinking everyone else causes her problems, all men are pricks and abusive and that when the SHTF cops and the government is going to save everyone. She doesn't trust me for some reason....


Unfortunately some people are toxic and will suck the life out of you. It would be better for you not to have anything to do with them unless they are family. Toxic family members send them a Christmas card once every year with no return address.


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## Tirediron (Jul 12, 2010)

N 9TH glad to have you join us, really glad you understand the need to be responsible for you self. You seem to have taken your time in the school of hard knocks and graduated with highest honors. 
I have 3 sisters that all grew up with the same parents in pretty much the same circumstances but all three of them have very different ideas about prepping, the oldest one understands the need, and would if it didn't create clutter, having said that she is far more prepared and knowledgeable than 95% of the population. next one is hard core get your $hit together be ready for what ever. the youngest one is the blamer, never her fault. the 2 youngest are very close in age, a year apart in school, so I don't understand the difference in views. 
I really don't know what to say about educating your mother, you probably can't, and you may have to consider your own well being, If for example you nurture a MAG, (never IMO try to verbally form one cause it will probably fail, you just need people that you have things and beliefs in common with and preferably have done business with)
People who don't believe in situational responsibility often thing that those that have things should always share with those who don't, In a SHTF situation those who prep, have skills and aren't afraid to work need to stay alive. you can't do that if someone "shared " your food to see you thru to the next harvest.


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## DrPrepper (Apr 17, 2016)

November_Ninth said:


> I know that was long but any advice would help, thanks.


November:
As a mom myself, I can hear your frustration that your mom won't get on board with your prepping. I would suggest that you not try to convince her to prep. Rather, you continue your prepping and set a good example for her. Can she cook? Ask her to teach you, in case you have to cook from scratch during the next winter storm when the power goes out. Can she sew? Ask her to teach you so that you can make your clothes last longer and save money. Does she have other skills? Ask her to teach you - but not for some nebulous doomsday event - give real reasons about why you want to master those skills. After a while, she may see that prepping for possible disasters is a very responsible and adult thing to do, and she may get on board that way. You mentioned growing up poor - that is a great reason to want to have extras on hand. That is what got me started, only I didn't realize having extras on hand was "prepping". I went through a period when my kids were very young where we were very poor, and after I was able to break out of the cycle of poverty, I vowed my kids and I would never go hungry again. Of course, that was many years ago, and I prep now for additional reasons. I think you may have luck with your mom if you don't try to convince her to do something she may not yet understand or agree with, but rather bring her into your prep activities by learning from her - and eventually *she* may get curious enough to want to learn.

Is your mom a reader? There are a lot of fiction and non-fiction books that you could get her that have potential realistic scenarios that lead people to want to be prepared.

Good luck!


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## fteter (May 23, 2014)

I'll speak to this from the position of role reversal: I'm the parent of adult children who don't really give a hoot about emergency preparedness.

As others have mentioned, you won't get anywhere by attempting to convert others. People who don't get it...just don't get it. Be respectful and keep the door open just in case Mom's perspective every changes.

In the meantime, as you build up your own preparations, be sure to add extra for Mom. And stand ready to help her if the day ever comes that she needs it.


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## jimLE (Feb 25, 2015)

a lot of good points have been made here.trying to get a parent,or someone else on board,and to prep.is somewhat like trying to get them to join a religoues beleive that they dont care for.especilly if you go about it in the wrong way..just like other parents,my mom is set in her ways,and wouldnt belive me when i talk with her about how things are going here in the u.s.,as well to whats going on in other countries as well..matter of fact,she'd think of me as a fool..then i started useing certain preps to help me,to get my point across,when it comes to prepping for what ever everyday situation we have.take power outages for example.we have light during outages.on acount i have flashlights,battery operated lanterns,and oil lamps.the oil lamps and lanterns got used outside after dark,and during family get togeathers.in which they came in very handy each time.i've been able to do other things as well,when it comes to preps.and just to get my point across later on.i'd say something along the lines of.arent you glad i have this now? or id say.you glad i got this prep now? or,im sure glad i had/have this..my mom is now slowly,but surely coming around..bottom line is this.dont push the envelope.make subtle points here n there when a prep has to be used.i save different plastic jars with lids.like peanut butter and miricle whip jars.and i also saved some spice jars.includeing one the finely ground black pepper came in.cinimon and suger is in it now.in which it gets used for cinimon toast.and yes mom loves it.


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## LastOutlaw (Jun 1, 2013)

I'll bet her mom or dad went through the depression as a child. If not her grandmother /grandfather did. 

Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point. 

My grandmother told me that when she was a little girl they had one bowl of potato soup a day and had to go to bed immediately after eating it so they could get to sleep. If they waited, they could not get to sleep once the hunger set back in. 

My dad told me of everyone's family garden in their apartment yard as a kid in Milwaukee.

You should be proud of being awake and aware. Most young people today are not. If you were my son I would be proud of you!


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

Here is my advice about liberal minded family and prepping...

If you can trust them not to tell the world that you prep then add enough supplies, food and water for them to your own preps. It doesn't mean you have to tell them about this or that you even prep but you will have them covered when the time comes.

If they will expect you to do 100% of the labor while they sit on their tush and watch then forget them. That includes parents. 

We prep for 6. That includes ourselves, our 2 kids and my folks. We do not prep for any of my husband's family. They would expect us to do every thing for them then bring half the state with them to our door for dinner once SHTF. I'm lucky none of them know where we live!


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## chaosjourney (Nov 1, 2012)

Lots of good stuff here! I love seeing the wisdom of the community expressed like this. 

I think it can be much easier to lead some people without telling them where we are going. My mother is a great lady, but she has no motivation for 'prepping'. She is, however, an amazing gardener and cook! Instead of pressuring her to prep, I encourage the growth of her skills. I put back extra supplies that are intended for her to use as part of my own prepping plan. She doesn't even know how important she is to my strategy and it may be a hindrance if she did. It is better to get to a goal than to not get there due to the path being challenged.


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## Viking (Mar 16, 2009)

This is something I've told my prepping friends that have negative relatives, make sure you become well prepared with the thought you may have to feed others, but try to make sure you will only bring in those who will bring something with them, otherwise you will just be a distributor of welfare, which will cause you to go through supplies much faster than you had planed on. Basically I tell them that they may need to write off members of their family to save themselves and ones who add to their survival system, sounds tuff but you need to be realistic of how well you will survive, you may not realize it now, but there may be others that come into your life that you may need to help more than family. My wife and I kind of have that situation now, we have friends that are more family than family members are and they would bring something with them in a shtf situation. Don't get me wrong, we love our families but if and when things go bad, they might drag us down to nothing in a hurry.


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## AmmoSgt (Apr 13, 2014)

I have to question the ability of folks to ignore the suffering and possible avoidable death of even the least liked or most aggravating of family members. Even if they are not in the immediate vicinity, most folks are going to worry. You are talking a lot of stress that you can avoid to a garet degree. I would go so far as to ask if helping family, even uncooperative or unproductive family is welfare or duty? 

It's going to be hard enough watching children that are complete strangers .. the kind every NGO knows brings in millions in donations on TV commercials, suffer and starve right in front of you... and even more than just being hard hearted, you risk losing a little of your humanity, no matter how justified you may be or feel intellectually. 

You can't save everybody, nobody knows how long a shtf will last... but there will always be a few that will die just before the lights come back on, that hind sight will make obvious you could have saved at no risk to your group or self. 

I'm not crazy.. but I have set aside supply that is either for outright charity, or I plan to trade away for things I could do without so it doesn't feel like charity. And yes, my situation is probably a little different than some, as I have both the knowledge and resources so that a goodly portion of my food and water can come from wild foraging. 

IMHO better to prep with an acceptance that your might be overcome with human empathy in a time of great stress than be able to hold a hard line. Humans put their lives at risk for perfect strangers all the time, in the final analysis that is what we are talking about, and here you will have to live with yourself either way.. you didn't do enough or you did to much , people could die or suffer either way, or anyway despite your best efforts.


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## AmishHeart (Jun 10, 2016)

I think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.


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## AmmoSgt (Apr 13, 2014)

Actually AmishHeart almost any of the world's major religions.. Some say it was denying safety and hospitality to strangers was the basic sin at Sodom and Gomorrah.

But beyond religion, in most cultures there are hospitality laws that developed because they were very survival oriented and designed to offset the weaknesses of the small group and survival, not just food, but where you could find mates for your children to prevent interbreeding. Formal rules of hospitality often have a deterrent to local small scale wars.

We ignore these customs at our own peril .. they are, in some cases the "wisdom of the ancients", in other cases the Will of God.

Strategically they can provide access to a larger pool of talents at a very low cost of resources and they are, 99% of the time, mutual.

In any serious examination of self sufficiency, beyond just basic hard scrabble survival, you really don't see self sufficiency in a group smaller than a tribe, or the local Fife and the lord and peasants, or plantation , or town .. and even then thru trade with the next tribe over. You might say it turns stealing horses or watermelons from the other town , within limits, more a football game that a war.

In the whole world gone to hellinahandbasket TEOTWAWKI, community is the first step back, and that means aligning/cooperating/working/trading with local groups nearby.

Further http://biblehub.com/leviticus/23-22.htm http://biblehub.com/deuteronomy/24-19.htm

and this https://home.snu.edu/~hculbert/poor.htm


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

AmishHeart said:


> I think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.


I agree except when it comes to those that would do harm to my children or myself. This would be K's family. I refuse to put my family at risk helping people that would take everything even if they did not work for it. K knows this and understands. His family would take from those with nothing just to appease their own grumbling guts even if it meant letting children(even their own) starve. They don't like me or my children so they would have no problem doing this to us.

One of the reasons we have not had contact in 3 years.


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## AmishHeart (Jun 10, 2016)

AmmoS...sounds like you've read some Marvin Harris. If not, then you should.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

AmishHeart said:


> I think if you are a Christian, then it is your duty to help your parents and your family. Even if they are a pain in the butt.


2 Thessalonians 3:10 KJV

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

Tweto said:


> I completely understand the type of mother you have because mine was the same. My mother hated men, she was a women's liber and I had to listen to her rants all my life about how women are superior to men in every way. Nothing bad that happened to her was ever her fault and in the 78 years she was alive she never once ever said that she was sorry or that she made a mistake. I'm the only male in my family and I became the butt of my mother's and sisters jokes (yes my mother instilled her beliefs into at least one of my sisters). When ever I was sick I was on my own (my mother was always too busy).
> 
> BTW I never had a father, he left after my mother kept getting pregnant by other men while he was in Korea.
> 
> ...


Wow holy crap!  You delt with all of that better than I could have, I'm sorry that happened to you. I do know the kinda woman you're talking about though, I have seen a few in my short life span so far. Thankfully my mom isn't quite that bad, the only same trait she has to your mom is how she always thinks she is right and never really says sorry, then when she does it's over something dumb when she didn't need to Lol


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## November_Ninth (Jan 3, 2017)

LastOutlaw said:


> I'll bet her mom or dad went through the depression as a child. If not her grandmother /grandfather did.
> 
> Another possibility is to ask her about family history. It might jog her memory of things her parents or grandparents told her. I know mine told me some things that keep coming to mind today. You can do this without mentioning prepping and maybe a light will go on in her head at some point.
> 
> ...


Thanks  and yeah she knows some stuff like the normal "Power goes out for a week" kinda stuff, she just doesn't get into the "They just banned all Semi Auto rifles, time for 1776!" or "Russian Tzar Bomb just got dropped on DC, it's time to move out of the path of the Radiation" Kinda stuff Lol


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## AmmoSgt (Apr 13, 2014)

Haven't but I just might.. mostly the Bible some other Holy Books looking for how to best deal with people.. what is fair or just

One day I sort of realized that God handed down how to behave on a bugout to some folks escaping Egypt, that he apparently didn't think they need when they lived under pharaohs law. I can see a parallel with society collapsing and folks bugging out.

and stuff like this http://biblehub.com/proverbs/16-11.htm

Just trying to get it right, More Jesus NT than OT .. Figure I will need all the help I can get to survive... so please , with God's help, ya know? I might make it, better with than without.. who knows " God's Help" might be the wisdom in the Bible itself. Doesn't mean I don't work on my skills .. I do. God helps those who help themselves. Playin it straight and trying to do it right might even bring a little Divine providence .. seem to work for the founding fathers and some of them were no saints.. so I might still be eligible :scratch


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## jimLE (Feb 25, 2015)

i live by these sayings.mainly the last one..but yet.i dont and wont prepare for those outside of my home..so if any family member or someone else,wants to move in,and/or want food n drink..then they better bring plenty to the table..and they'll continue to do without if they dont..i know that sounds heartless or what ever..but im not here to support others..

"Remember; when disaster strikes, the time to prepare has passed."-- Steven Cyros

"It is easier to prepare and prevent, than it is to repair and repent."-- Anonymous

"Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past have coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable."-- George S. Patton

"It is thrifty to prepare today for the wants of tomorrow."-- Aesop

"Preparation through education is less costly than learning through tragedy."-- Max Mayfield, Director National Hurricane Center

"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."-- 1 Timothy 5:8


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

I fear that handing out food will bring the same people back and that they will bring others with them or just tell others where I am and that I have provisions. I can help some but I can't feed the world. 

My plan is to find a local church with a soup kitchen or other food program and donate to that. I will direct anyone that comes to my door to that church. The Mormon Church is ten minutes away and their cannery is about a half an hour from here. They currently run a food bank out of the cannery.

My immediate neighbors are another issue. I am slowly building friendships with them with the idea that they will become allies. These neighbors and certain friends may receive direct aid.


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## crabapple (Jan 1, 2012)

First she is your mom so she will always be smarter & know more than her little child dose.
Two there is very little proof you are right about a major change happening & million of people not having enough food to eat & die in the USA(which dose not make you wrong).

This is called seeing the other persons point of view.

It is always easier for the child to see the parents P O V, then the parent to see the child's POV.
I know because I am BOTH a parent & a child of a parent.
So hang in there & do your best & love them anyways.


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*Ignorant Parents*

The best way to deal with ignorant parents is to move out of their basement


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## Meerkat (May 31, 2011)

Hi and welcome Nov.9 I'm Nov.1 but many years further down the road than you. 

There is a saying ' too bad youth is wasted on the young'. I'll add to that ' too bad some people never grow up.

Hang in there lots of good info here. :wave:


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

Meerkat said:


> Hi and welcome Nov.9 I'm Nov.1 but many years further down the road than you.
> 
> There is a saying ' too bad youth is wasted on the young'. I'll add to that ' too bad some people never grow up.
> 
> Hang in there lots of good info here. :wave:


I'm Nov 2nd and also years older than Nov 9th but younger than you.


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## readytogo (Apr 6, 2013)

From ignorant parents to sharing to strangers is difficult but understanding, we fear the unknown and with reason all we have to do is watch the news and even those who follow the bible and the laws there off about sharing and giving and been humane will have to acknowledge that fear is a reasonable reason for not opening the door to just anybody but mom and pappy or brother and sister and no matter how ignorant they are, they are still blood ,I know I have them in my family ,so what to do? .If the donkey don`t want water ,the fear of God is not going to make him drink it ,period so like stated here before and not just on this topic ,buy extra goods whenever you can instead of gifts buy can goods ,water ,or whatever you think is necessary for your area and hope and pray that you never have to shared it.


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## BillM (Dec 29, 2010)

*OK Buddy*



readytogo said:


> From ignorant parents to sharing to strangers is difficult but understanding, we fear the unknown and with reason all we have to do is watch the news and even those who follow the bible and the laws there off about sharing and giving and been humane will have to acknowledge that fear is a reasonable reason for not opening the door to just anybody but mom and pappy or brother and sister and no matter how ignorant they are, they are still blood ,I know I have them in my family ,so what to do? .If the donkey don`t want water ,the fear of God is not going to make him drink it ,period so like stated here before and not just on this topic ,buy extra goods whenever you can instead of gifts buy can goods ,water ,or whatever you think is necessary for your area and hope and pray that you never have to shared it.


OK Buddy, I have read your history now.

You are a survivor ! You will always survive when others succumb.

You will eventually die, we all will but you will go down swinging.

that is the best we all can do.

One word of advise about your mother, she is not going to ever see the light until it is too late.

Don't keep attempting to gain her assistance or approval.

When you ask or tell someone what you are doing , you imply that you really want their opinion .

Just keep putting up the beans and rice !

You may get tired of eating beans and rice but you won't get tired of eating!


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## cnsper (Sep 20, 2012)

What it boils down to is this... Those that wipe your ass rarely want your opinion.


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## JJWalker85 (Feb 23, 2017)

WOW! that was highly irritating as I'm sure this post will be.. I typed out a whole loooong reply for you and damn it was good... the kind of good that made me think maybe I should quit my day job and become a life coach instead... and when I clicked post... the site had logged me out and said I was not registered and that it had saved a draft of my reply... well I logged back in and found no such draft anywhere vract: ... if anyone can tell me where I might find this draft so I can post it I'd appreciate it. Otherwise i guess I'll have to come back to this thread at a later time and type it all out again... if I can remember it all.


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## tsrwivey (Dec 31, 2010)

You can usually use the back button on your browser to get your post back. Then just copy it all, resolve the problem, then paste your post.


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## bbqjoe (Feb 10, 2017)

The way I see things, keep doing what you're doing. If you're seeking your mother's validation, forget about it.

Just remember to tell her often: I love you, thank you.


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## jimLE (Feb 25, 2015)

well November_Ninth,i have family members thats the same way,about trust and respect.i've learned years ago,that it dont matter what i do to prove what ever to them,they dont believe it,or what ever..so i gave up trying to prove things to them.pluss i feel and believe that i dont have anything to prove to them,to begin with.so i stopped trying,and now.i simply sit back and let them prove themselves wrong in their own time.and all the while.i go with i feel and believe is right for me...so you might try that.i'm sure it'll be hard for ya to do and all.but yet,it might work....as for as prepping goes.might go with what (YOU) feel is right when it comes to you and your mom,first.then any others if you feel it necessary..my mom is in bad health..and to top it off,she takes diff meds.in which im sure things "will" get worse for when they run out..i have my doubt on her handling a long bug out trip to where ever..but yet,thats something i gotta think of all the same.on account i know that my brothers,sister and their kids won't be of any help.and to top it off.they live in areas where bugging out to their homes is less safe then where i live,when it comes to a shtf/teotwawki situation.so i'll be bugging out else where.one more thing i've thought of,in which it might sound callous and all.but yet.there's always that possibility i might have to leave her behind for my own safety..i hope it dont come to that thoe..as far as the preps you buy.keep at least most to yourself,if you feel it necessary..


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## bigg777 (Mar 18, 2013)

Buy and read a copy of "One Minute After" and then loan it to your parents.


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## readytogo (Apr 6, 2013)

The minute I started to talk I was told to listen, my father’s way of telling me to shut up and learn, I pass it to my children today and every day, I look at myself in the mirror every day before I pass judgment and like stated before ,we are all ignorant on something and everybody is different. I lost both my parents years ago and my friend I miss them everyday ,ignorant and all.


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## Meerkat (May 31, 2011)

readytogo said:


> The minute I started to talk I was told to listen, my father's way of telling me to shut up and learn, I pass it to my children today and every day, I look at myself in the mirror every day before I pass judgment and like stated before ,we are all ignorant on something and everybody is different. I lost both my parents years ago and my friend I miss them everyday ,ignorant and all.


 You been listening to Cat Stevens song ' Father And Son '? " From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen ". I loved this man before he went nuts. I had both his 8 tracks.

I:39 into song he says what you said.


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## skills (Feb 26, 2017)

Definitely Don't fight with your mom it will cause harm to your relationships in the future you should talk to her and find a way you can both enjoy time spent together and also separated time to be Fun for both of you


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## headhunter (Nov 21, 2008)

I'm no typist. So if I wish to add something, I use the computer's writing program and write what I want," highlight" it and use "copy". At this point I reopen what I wanted to reply to (post a quick reply) and hit "paste". (I can't make the time limits either!)


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## chewie (Mar 4, 2017)

I've found the best thing to do is just to save your energy and focus on yourself The majority of the population for some reason simply doesn't care about prepping and will always find it to be a waste of time. 

Instead of focusing on getting other people to join you you're better off to do what you can for now and continue to build your preps and learn general survival knowledge as you go.

Hopefully one day you'll be prepared enough to take care of both you and your mom.


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