# Helping people



## hunter33 (Jul 9, 2016)

In high school I remember a quote from English class. "Treat people as if they where what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of being". That was 28 years ago. I own a business with several employees and am married with two teenage sons. That quote is wrong. It should say " treat people as if they where what they ought to be and currently trying to become and you will help them become what they are capable of being". You can't help someone unless they are currently excepting help and trying to better themselves. I am a person who wants to help the guy holding up a sign on the street corner looking for work. I could hire them today. The problem I have learned is a lot of them don't want help. Some do but most really don't. They are where they want to be right now. I once offered a job to a guy that came to my shop wanting to recycle the metal I discarded. He didn't show up the first day of work and ended up stealing from me. I am not special. I think a lot of people want to help someone in need but don't know how. Or don't want to be taken advantage of. There are a lot of good people in this world that don't know the best way to help because so many people are just trying to take advantage of us that the ones that really need the help get left behind. What I do is help any way I can knowing that one out of ten benefit from my help. But I helped someone. Everyone needs to sleep at night. I sleep by knowing I did the best I could today. What helps you sleep at night?


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## Cotton (Oct 12, 2013)

Passiflora incarnata, "May Pops". I harvest the blooms and upper portions of the vine and tincture it. It's a wonderful natural sedative, no "groggy head" the next morning, not addictive . Passion flower tincture is a very good natural sleep aid that helps me sleep at night. I'll pass on the loaded question, but that's just me.  That also helps me sleep better, just sayin'.


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## Starcreek (Feb 4, 2015)

I play Spider Two-Suit until I can't keep my eyes open.


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## Cotton (Oct 12, 2013)

Starcreek said:


> I play Spider Two-Suit until I can't keep my eyes open.


Get you some passion flower tincture youngen! If you can't make it you can order it on Amazon...


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## tsrwivey (Dec 31, 2010)

Help kids. Foster or adopt. If you can't, help those who do. Every time you get the urge to give money to someone too lazy to work, give that money to help kids. Get involved in a mentoring program. Pay for Christian school. Kids are never responsible for their circumstances.


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## bigg777 (Mar 18, 2013)

Many years ago, a wise man told me that having reverence for God and money in the bank will help you sleep well. He was right. If you have reverence for God and have faith in Christ, you need not worry about your soul. If you have money in the bank (or food, security and PMs) you need not worry about tomorrow. I sleep well, thank God.


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## Sentry18 (Aug 5, 2012)

What helps me sleep at night?

Knowing that Jesus' death on the cross has freed me from the bondage of sin, healed my every disease, and has reconciled me with God forever. That, an NFA short barrelled shotgun loaded with No. 4 buck, and a small group of Rottweilers.


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## Woody (Nov 11, 2008)

I'll second (or third?) the passion flower. I harvested and dried just the flowers one time and they taste to foofie for me. Or too perfumery is a better word I guess. I found the budding ends of the vine alright, taste wise. Tinctures worked fine, less to consume, but I prefer a nice tea before bedtime.

I liked Valerian root tea for those nights you have aches and pains. Tastes and smells like old socks but I grew to appreciate the taste. Got a wonderful night sleep and, like passion flower, you don't wake up feeling drugged. I read that some folks get "Valerian root nightmares." I never had a problem and don't remember even dreaming at all. Don't remember them anyway. Mixing the two together took care of the nightmares it says.

Valerian is a pain to harvest, clean, dry and cut. Sheesh what a pain! I bought what I needed after the first crop. Passion flower is a joy to harvest! If you have a good patch (watch it though, it spreads like a bastard!) the flowers are all over the place and finding budding ends is not a problem at all. You can get several harvests a year in, as you cut the ends they grow two more.

For the helping others. I've been burned many times in my life, even by so called friends I tried to help. Unless I know them well and they are in dire straights, they are on their own. I have not wasted any nights worrying about them.


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## readytogo (Apr 6, 2013)

hunter33 there are many ways to help people ,a few dollars here a meal some clothes/shoes a donation to a shelter even volunteering ,whatever I can`t used I give to the VA ,tools ,appliances ,clothes , so don`t feel bad instead feel good that you are in a position that you can help others ,somehow you will be rewarded.


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## Todays Survival Show (Nov 23, 2009)

Do what you think is best and don't worry about whether the person you're trying to help wants the help or not. If you do what you think is best and what God commands us to do in scripture.

Deuteronomy 15:11 ESV For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’

Matthew 5:42 ESV Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

I have often offered beggars something to eat, instead of giving them money. Once I invited a guy into Luby's with me (he was sitting on the street, saying he was hungry) and bought him dinner. He was very appreciative. You don't know what's in their heart, but that's between them and God.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

Todays Survival Show said:


> Do what you think is best and don't worry about whether the person you're trying to help wants the help or not. If you do what you think is best and what God commands us to do in scripture.
> 
> Deuteronomy 15:11 ESV For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, 'You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.'
> 
> ...


I think it is good to buy people meals, better than handing them the money for a meal. I think it is even better to sit and eat that meal with them and get to know them a little.


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## Tirediron (Jul 12, 2010)

step back and look at the big picture, if you raise your kids well and do something that actually makes the world a better place, you should sleep well, If you are involved in the professional sports or main stream entertainment there is no hope


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## BillS (May 30, 2011)

I see panhandlers on the side of the road sometimes. I've seen stories of such people posting to Facebook about all the money they got from not working. In an age where a lot of people don't want to work and people get government benefits I'd rather give to the Salvation Army. Let them sort out who's really in need.


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## terri9630 (Jun 2, 2016)

Every time someone asks for money for food because they haven't eaten today I ask them what they would like to eat. If they don't want me to buy the food and just want cash I walk away. There is one lady in town that will ask for a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter because she can eat for a week that way. Whenever I see her I ask if she has food. She has never asked for cash. There was a guy outside of KFC last time I was there that asked if I was buying tenders and if I was if he could have half of one. I bought him a complete meal and he cried. There have been many, many who just want cash and a few who got really mad because I wouldn't give them the cash to "buy their own food". There are some who really appreciate it and if I can afford it I will feed them.


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## Meerkat (May 31, 2011)

BillS said:


> I see panhandlers on the side of the road sometimes. I've seen stories of such people posting to Facebook about all the money they got from not working. In an age where a lot of people don't want to work and people get government benefits I'd rather give to the Salvation Army. Let them sort out who's really in need.


 We use to be big in helping the homeless. Most of them are really homeless. The ones who aren't will pay for th little bit we give them.

I always think we could be enteraining an angle unaware when we pass one up. And many are vets. So we give them a dollar or so. Last one I ended up having to give him a $10 bill. He looked so helpless with his head down so I turned around and went back. I didn't know all I had was 10s and 20s. He really thanked me though.

I've seen them with bad frostbite in Jacksonville Fl. in winter. Also when we lived in Atlanta Ga. where I'm from they dig in garbage cans some with kids.


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## Todays Survival Show (Nov 23, 2009)

You just never know their situation and who are we to judge?


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## crabapple (Jan 1, 2012)

Todays Survival Show said:


> You just never know their situation and who are we to judge?


I understand what you are saying & it is your right to do so.
I however, am the master of my money & will give as I see fit.
I have to say buying food is better then giving anyone cash.

I get the well dressed guy with a SC drivers licenses, saying he from a town 20 or 30 miles away. He forgot to full up his gas tank & needs money to get home.
He will mail me a check.
I never leave town on an empty gas tank & anyone who does, should walk home. 
:scratch


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## hashbrown (Sep 2, 2013)

Todays Survival Show said:


> You just never know their situation and who are we to judge?


Have you ever tried to give a homeless person a job? I have tried several times, I even put them up and fed only to be disappointed every time. The last time I housed "for free" only thing he had to pay was his own electric and gave him a job. I struggled with him for 2 years before I had to kick him out. Most are homeless for a reason, because they are worthless as teats on a boar hog.....


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

I know we have a thread about panhandlers and over in that thread I posted about the couple with a baby I met at Target not long ago that wanted cash for diapers. There are a lot of us here that want to help and feel the pull of the Lord to do so but we must also make sure we are not helping them fuel their sins with what we give. I don't think Jesus would have any issues with us offering food rather than money if that is how we choose to give to those in need. We would still be doing more than most of our neighbors.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

crabapple said:


> I understand what you are saying & it is your right to do so.
> I however, am the master of my money & will give as I see fit.
> I have to say buying food is better then giving anyone cash.
> 
> ...


Sounds phony to me. 
I know a guy who posted photos on facebook of all the fine liquor he is drinking. Then he calls and asks me if I can pay his cell phone bill. Right! Guess what? He doesn't call me at all anymore. He blocked me on facebook.

I don't mind giving someone a little help if they need it, but all of my experiences are people who are all about trying to get some money so they can drink and drug, when they cannot afford to do so. Working in the inner city gets you knowing too many people who cannot get their acts together and thinking you or I should help them. No, you didn't ask me if you should buy that $30 pint of liquor.

Give me a fish and I eat today. Teach me to fish and I eat for a lifetime.


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## LastOutlaw (Jun 1, 2013)

I worked at a mall for awhile running a landscaping crew. The owner would come and stop by from time to time. We would stand in the parking lot and chat. Many times panhandlers would single him out as the boss and hit him up for money. Before he gave any of them anything he would ask them piles of questions. Stuff like:
What is your name?
What is your last name?
What kind of skills do you have?
What was your last job?
When was that?
What work did you do in that job?
How long did you work there?
Do you have a drivers license?
May I see it?
If not, why don't you have one?

Many times they would just say never mind and walk away. 
If they answered his questions and he was satisfied that they were telling the truth he usually would give them 5 or 10 bucks.

He also had weird questions for people after he hired them.
Stuff like:
What was your home life like growing up?
Were you raised by both your parents?
Did they work every day?
stuff like that.
I asked him what his reasoning was in asking those questions
He said he found over the years that if a person was raised by both parents and saw at least one go off to work every day then they usually would be the type to show up at work every day.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

Todays Survival Show said:


> You just never know their situation and who are we to judge?


True. But on Judgement day He will hold us accountable on how we used the money He gave us control over.

IMHO giving someone money so they can drink their meal is NOT a wise use of God's money.

Our church did hand out money.

Then they started to sending them to the local gas station or grocery store. Pastor would call ahead to the station/grocery to tell them so and so is coming. Bill the church for $xx.xx Most never showed up.

Now the area churches has organized and support a local food bank. A few of the "needy" have the nerve to complain about the selection or the brand isn't want they wanted. Majority are appreciative and somewhat embarrassed for asking for help.

All of our children worked their way thru college as a waiter or waitresses. So if a college age waits on us I give them a bigger tip. A few say thank you, one said I must have made a mistake (I didn't) and one looked like she had worked a double shift, almost cried when she saw the amount of the tip. Time for dad to pay back all of those Tipers that help my children through college!


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## Tirediron (Jul 12, 2010)

I actually had the privilege of helping someone who IMO deserved a little boost. a long time friend, the wife of an even longer time friend suffered a stroke at younger than 50, she has fought hard to regain the use of her right side, which has been partially successful, except that she can't really tell what her right leg is doing. She was ok ed to drive by her DR & their insurance company, but she needed to use her left foot for the gas pedal. I was asked to make the modification. When her husband asked how much , I said "this ones on the house". I had never planned to charge for the job, thinking that if she could fight her way back to being approved to drive, I could put in a days work to help her do it more comfortably. 
This act has given me deep satisfaction, helping someone who is doing everything she can to help herself.


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## Tweto (Nov 26, 2011)

Here, where I live, I haven't seen a homeless person in 30 years. If I drive the 30 miles to Omaha I can find homeless fakers at the malls. They look homeless, they act homeless and they carry signs that say they are homeless.

Then one smart reporter for a local TV station went down to observe them standing on the street corners. Here's what they found, every hour or 2 they would leave and walk to a car that had just stopped there and another "homeless person" got out and went back to the same street corner. Just like a tag team.

When it started getting dark the reporter followed the car, and after it picked up several more "homeless" on several other corners in went to a Super 8 motel and they all got out and went into their rooms for the night. The next day they went right back to doing the same thing.

What they found out was that they were modern day gypsies that traveled the US, stopping in various towns for a few weeks at a time and then going to the next town.

There are several other strange stories about "homeless". One was that a local university was have students go out to pose as homeless for there sociology class. In another case, they found that the homeless that were at the shelter for dinner everyday were mostly working poor that just wanted a free meal once a day.

Every winter, we have a few people that are found frozen to death under bridges and in one case behind some bushes in a high income business district and they suspect that she had been there for months. These people could have used some help, but even these people probably would have refused it, because homeless and homeless because they want to be homeless.


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## Todays Survival Show (Nov 23, 2009)

I've been on the receiving end of charitable contributions and on the giving end, plenty of times. I agree with everyone saying that it's better to buy food, diapers, gas or whatever, than just giving them money. My point in the "who are we to judge?" comment is that we should give to the best of our means, without hesitation. 

If giving means buying them something they need, so be it. If you can't give at all because you can't make ends meet, fix that problem, then start giving.


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## Griff (Jan 12, 2013)

We sometimes find great deals in town, or have extra produce. One of my best friends is the founder and pastor of a Cowboy Baptist church. We agree with their "Teach a man to fish" / "If a man will not work, neither shall he eat" philosophy, so donate anonymously through them. Also work with friends and neighbors when they ask. 

I agree that folks occasionally need a hand up, within reason, but have watched as "good people" turned to outright leeches, taking advantage of peoples' better intentions through head games and guilt trips. 
Nope. 
Not here. 
What it boils down to is this: I love my family more than yours. Not gonna take food out of their mouths to do something you are capable of, yourself.

I sleep very well, and am living the dream.


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## tsrwivey (Dec 31, 2010)

Todays Survival Show said:


> You just never know their situation and who are we to judge?


And you don't know their situation either so why not give to people you actually know for a fact are in need? We live in a fallen world, there are people you know IRL are dealing with a debilitating illness, job loss, disability, death, loss of their home, etc. Don't know anyone in any of those situations? Please let me encourage you to get off the computer & out into the real world around you. Let me also take the opportunity to encourage you to donate that money to orphans who are in desperate need through no fault of their own. Have a heart for vets? Great! Find one in real life who needs help & help! At least have the gumption to give the money to a veteran's organization & not hand it over to a dope head posing as a vet. Frankly, if they're physically able to stand on the corner for hours begging, there are people way worse off.


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## Wikkador (Oct 22, 2014)

I don't need help sleeping at night because I am not conflicted or at odds with the things I have done. I believe in taking care of my family and my friends, that's it. I do give cash donations to veterans charity organizations and to the Church because that's where I feel help should come from to the needy public.


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## Todays Survival Show (Nov 23, 2009)

tsrwivey said:


> there are people you know IRL are dealing with a debilitating illness, job loss, disability, death, loss of their home, etc. Don't know anyone in any of those situations? Please let me encourage you to get off the computer & out into the real world around you. Let me also take the opportunity to encourage you to donate that money to orphans who are in desperate need through no fault of their own.


As a matter of fact I do, my wife is suffering from a disabling and terminal disease. I take care of her every day and work a full time job. And before you encourage me to get off of the computer, you might take a moment to find out that with my computer and the internet, I do the best I can to help people in many ways with both of my podcasts.

I'm in the real world alright, I beat stage 4 cancer (by the grace of God) and take care of a disabled wife at the same time as working a full time job and raising a son. Helping the less fortunate is what my God commands me to do and I take that very seriously. What I don't do is judge, because that's not my job to do that.


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## Tirediron (Jul 12, 2010)

We should probably hold off the judgement, but discernment never hurts, 
I have worked with homeless people who were homeless due to addiction problems, most of these guys were really hard workers, as long as they were given food not money, if you gave them money they just drank it and didn't show up for the job.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

Tirediron said:


> We should probably hold off the judgement, but discernment never hurts,
> I have worked with homeless people who were homeless due to addiction problems, most of these guys were really hard workers, as long as they were given food not money, if you gave them money they just drank it and didn't show up for the job.


One day I was working in my yard and a man came walking down the alley, pulling a homemade cart. I greeted him, as I try to do to all people I meet who pass my home. He stopped and soon he was telling me about his addiction to alcohol. He does well for months on end, making money from scrapping metal and other various things. He can save up a bunch of money, while living in various places until he get ousted by the authorities. And then one day, the urge to have a drink is bigger than the urge to say sober, and when he is out of money, he will sober up, and it can literally be months later, and then he is starting all over again. It has been a cycle that he has been through many times. He was sober and in a sober period of his life when I met him. He did not ask me for anything and I only offered my conversation to him.


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