# Any scary stories on your screw ups?



## RebStew (Aug 23, 2013)

Just thought some may share what they have done and screwed up so other may learn what NOT to do.


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## RebStew (Aug 23, 2013)

This one is funny to me now but freaked me out back then.

When I was younger I had a new bride and young baby. We moved out into the woods in an old 1950's or 60's single wide trailer. We went through one mild winter and I thought we were going to freeze to death. The trailer had those old electric baseboard heaters and most of them didn't work. We ran extra electric heaters to keep from freezing. When we got our electric bills they were through the roof. We went broke just keeping warm.

The next fall I ask my dad if I could have his old pot belly stove that was in his barn. I started fixing the trailer to take the stove. I pulled in creek rock to sit it on. New pipe and ran it out. I even found a 100+ year old barn timber and made a mantel. I painted the stove all up with this hi heat paint for stoves and even went so far as to outline the scroll work on it with some gold paint. It sure did look pretty. 

I wasn't going to get cold this winter!!! I had cut plenty of wood and had it ready but didn't want to start a fire at first. I wanted to get our first electric bill using the electric heaters and then the next month use the stove to show my wife how much money we saved by using the wood burner. By the time our 1st winter bill came I thought we were going to freeze. Running the electric strained the less than great system too. I'd wake up at 3 am with the house at 40 degrees because the old shotgun style fuses would blow on the pole and I'd have to walk through the woods about 1000 feet at 3 a.m. to get to the pole to change the fuses.  So when it was time to light the stove I was giddy as a school boy with his first crush.

The 2nd winter was very cold and that little trailer we called our first home was not insulated well if at all. With my wife and now 2 little kids at the house it was time to fire up the stove. I put in some small stuff first. It burned for a while. really didn't do much. I kept adding to it. It did okay. Any time I'd put bigger stuff in it it wouldn't burn. It took me about 2 hours to get some ash in the bottom of that old stove. Once that happened things stared getting good. It was getting warmer in that little trailer. I thought to myself if this is working this good we won't need any electric to heat with.

So why not add some more!  I stoked up the fire and added a few big pieces. I had that stove full. I closed up the door and sat on the coach and marveled at how warm it was. The grin on my face went away when the smoke started burning off the super hot pipes. Then the smell of that fresh paint from the stove took over. Holy crap, the house is filling up full of smoke! I opened the windows but that wasn't good enough. I thought to myself that I'm loosing all my heat letting the smoke out. Not to worry that wood was going good by now. It feels like it's 110 degrees in the house. I opened the front and rear door. So now the smoke is getting out all the windows and doors but it still feels like it's gaining in temp in the house. That little pot belly stove was so hot I thought the walls were going to burst into flames. I choked it down but the pipe was still glowing red. It was one of the most scary things I ever did. My thoughts went to this old trailer that was built out of sticks and was so dry it was going to go up like I had poured gas on it. That's not the bad part. The woods. I was right in the middle of overgrown trees and dry leaves covered the grown. If it went up the woods would go too. It would have burned a trail all the way to the Ohio River.

I got lucky that day. My wife found out for the first time that I wasn't perfect as I filled glasses, buckets and the bathtub up full of water to try to put the fire out when and if it caught. Removing anything flameable with 10 feet of the stove, hard to do when the trailers only 10 feet wide! With the windows and doors open it was a little stinky but it was still nice and hot. Good God it was hot! Below freezing outside and we are burning up with the doors and windows open.

Looking back on it now I can laugh. I was young and thought I knew it all. While I still may think I'm perfect my wife learns daily I'm not.  After learning what the stove could and can't do. We spent the rest of our time in that little trailer very cozy and without the electric heaters.


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## camo2460 (Feb 10, 2013)

You know Reb you should put that stuff in a book, not only do you tell a good story but I haven't had such a good laugh in quite a while


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## RebStew (Aug 23, 2013)

I have plenty to tell. I just have to wait til I'm almost dead so people won't laugh at me for very long.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

> The grin on my face went away when the smoke started burning off the super hot pipes. Then the smell of that fresh paint from the stove took over.


This happened when I decided to give the 40 year old kettle BBQ a new paint job 7 years ago. Now if K gets the coals nice and hot the paint burns off the outside!

I figured out the stove/coven paint is not really for direct heat. Same with engine paint which is what I used on the BBQ...


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## 8thDayStranger (Jan 30, 2013)

We melted the siding on the back of the house once with the gas grill. The misses wanted to try grilling something for lunch. I went out and lit the grill and turned it on high to heat up and burn off any junk left on the grate. I go back in and start watching a ball game or something while she finished getting her stuff together for the grill. 

30 minutes later I ask how the grilled whatever it was turned out. She said she got sidetracked and hadn't put it on there yet. I fly out the back door and see flames leaping out of the sides of the grill. The siding is melting down the wall. It's so freakin hot I burn myself trying to shut the knobs off and get the gas cut off. Guess who lost her grilling privileges...........permanently?


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

Heating a cabin

Background. I had a cabin (8' x 12' storage shed) at a distant gun range. Friday night I would drive down, help setup for Saturday and spend the night.

You see across the lake from the gun range there are a few cabins of which one of them was mine. 

I had asked for opinions on using vented or nonvented heaters in the cabin. Most thought a vented heater was the safe way to go.

Took a Friday afternoon off from work and head towards the cabin. Well I got the vented heater hung but don’t have the vent or LP gas line installed yet. And the night’s temperature was to be below freezing. So this is what I did.

Got me one of those there battery operated Carbon Monoxide detectors with a digital display and LOUD alarm buzzer. Hung that duffer on the wall. I even read the instructions and tested it! Very loud BEEP...BEEP!

Fired up my white gas Coleman tent heater, plus two kerosene lamps. Covered the roof vent with cardboard. Inflated the air mattress for on the bed frame. Made the bed with a thick wool blanket on top.

Then I mosey on over to the club house to watch the locals cheat at Texas hold’um poker for about an hour or so. Then back to the cabin for a good nights sleep.

Carbon Monoxide display showed zero. I extinguished the two kerosene lanterns, put the work pager (on call 24x7) and me spectacles on the table and crawled into bed. 

Dozed for a bit wondering why me top half was warm and me bottom half was cold? So I rolled over and went back to sleep. Woke up again. Top half warm, bottom half was cold. What the blasted…the AIR MATTRESS! Air mattress ain’t providing insulation like the wool blanket on top.

So I laid there a thinking.

I had built the bed frame out of 2x4s, covered with ¼” plywood and 18” off the floor. The white gas Coleman tent heater is about 8” tall. That would give me about 10” of clearance…so I rolled out of bed and held my hand 10” above the heater…ouch! Too hot to keep my hand there long. I went ahead and slid that Coleman heater under the bed! Far enough under the bed so a blanket couldn’t fall on the heater and catch on fire.

Crawled back into bed and me bottom side warm right up! Laid there for about an hour still a thinking.

Now if that bed caught fire the Carbon Monoxide detector should wake me up. Assuming I hadn’t already asphyxiated. And if that air mattress gets too hot is would burst and deflate waking me up, again assuming asphyxiation hasn’t already done me in. 

But I really don’t want to go thru life with a plastic mattress fused to my skin. So I rolled back out of bed and stuck my hand under the bed. 2x4s were warm to the touch but not hot! Success!

I crawled back into bed and fall into a deep sleep….

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP… Carbon Monoxide detector buzzer was going OFF! FIRE!

As I leaped out of bed I’m thinking water! The Lake is close but I don’t have a bucket. No smoke? It’s still dark in the cabin…where are the flames? No plastic melted to my hide…it wasn’t the Carbon Monoxide detector that was buzzing, it was my work pager…


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## cedarguy (Nov 19, 2012)

This really doesnt apply to prepping but why not.

Its was a cold and snowy day in early January, I pried myself out of bed kissed the now ex-wife and headed to work.
I was sitting at my desk and just happened to have a radio on when the dj asked a question and said 1st caller with the correct answer wins a prize. I thought to myself I know the answer and I never know the answer, So I called and won  The prize was a weekend stay at a local ski resort, Woo hoo! I couldnt hardley contain myself wanting to get home and tell the wife the great news

When I got home I proudly told her that this weekend we are getting away and going skiing artydance: She replied, We dont know how to ski and I replied that lessons were included so lets go have some fun! She agreed completely at that point.

We loaded up the car and headed off for our next adventure in life. As soon as we checked into the hotel we went to the slopes for what was sure to be an enjoying day. First stop was the equipment room for skis and poles next stop the bunny slope for lessons. I went first, I grabbed the guide rope and it pulled me way up a small incline, The instructor gave me a few pointers and down the hill I went. Pfftttt this is easy I thought to myself and had had enough of the lessons  So I waited for the wife to get her pointers, She finished up and I said lets hit the big hill! I now understand the concern I saw in her eyes.

We jumped on the ski lift and rode it up, I watched many people ahead of us go down the hill, Seems easy enough. I had much to learn. We stepped off the lift and she decied she would go first, Go get em huh I said and watched here go around 100 feet and fall down. Well, being the manly man I am hollerd "Ill come help ya" So off I went. It did not take long at all for me to realise this was no longer the "bunny slope" I had no idea that two waxed pieces of fiberglass and a hill could produce that much speed that fast. Im not sure if I closed my eyes or was just going so fast that I dont even remember going past her. I also didnt realise that the faster your going out of control the more narrow the path appeared to get.

So now I feel like Im setting a new land speed record and am at a complete loss as I see a sharp corner coming up fast. I quickly realise I cannot make the corner, I just dont know how, :eyebulge: I must have missed that step at the bunny slope (must of been the manley man thing) So I quickly deduce I have two options. 1. blaze a new trail through the woods or 2. lay it down, I chose 2. I had no freaking idea how hard homemade snow was. I rolled, flipped, turned, flopped, it seemed like hundeds of feet one ski that way the other another. It must have been quite the site to see counting the number of medics that quickly surrounded me.

I was very lucky, alot of brusing but nothing broken but my pride. The rest of the hill was taken on foot and the rest of the weekend in the hot tub.


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

RebStew said:


> That little pot belly stove was so hot I thought the walls were going to burst into flames. I choked it down but the pipe was still glowing red. It was one of the most scary things I ever did...


 I think a LOT of "new wood stove owners" can relate to this!! The learning curve can be VERY steep and dangerous!


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## bugoutbob (Nov 11, 2012)

Stove stories ... my folks moved off grid just after I left high school and heated their old mobile home with a big cheap old wood stove. Fast forward to a winter's day a couple of years later. They are off on a holiday and I'm back for a visit to house sit. It's -40 when I go out to do the chores so I stoke the stove up real good. Come back an hour or so later and the house is oppressively hot. I look at the stove and the whole thing is literally red hot. I start to panic ... the place is going to catch fire.

In my panicked "wisdom" I fill a big bucket with ice cold water open the stove door and throw the water into the firebox. Fortunately for me the stove did not crack, although it did make some awful noise and the whole house filled with steam.

Lesson learned ... never throw water into a roaring woodstove


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## 8thDayStranger (Jan 30, 2013)

cedarguy said:


> This really doesnt apply to prepping but why not. Its was a cold and snowy day in early January, I pried myself out of bed kissed the now ex-wife and headed to work. I was sitting at my desk and just happened to have a radio on when the dj asked a question and said 1st caller with the correct answer wins a prize. I thought to myself I know the answer and I never know the answer, So I called and won  The prize was a weekend stay at a local ski resort, Woo hoo! I couldnt hardley contain myself wanting to get home and tell the wife the great news When I got home I proudly told her that this weekend we are getting away and going skiing artydance: She replied, We dont know how to ski and I replied that lessons were included so lets go have some fun! She agreed completely at that point. We loaded up the car and headed off for our next adventure in life. As soon as we checked into the hotel we went to the slopes for what was sure to be an enjoying day. First stop was the equipment room for skis and poles next stop the bunny slope for lessons. I went first, I grabbed the guide rope and it pulled me way up a small incline, The instructor gave me a few pointers and down the hill I went. Pfftttt this is easy I thought to myself and had had enough of the lessons  So I waited for the wife to get her pointers, She finished up and I said lets hit the big hill! I now understand the concern I saw in her eyes. We jumped on the ski lift and rode it up, I watched many people ahead of us go down the hill, Seems easy enough. I had much to learn. We stepped off the lift and she decied she would go first, Go get em huh I said and watched here go around 100 feet and fall down. Well, being the manly man I am hollerd "Ill come help ya" So off I went. It did not take long at all for me to realise this was no longer the "bunny slope" I had no idea that two waxed pieces of fiberglass and a hill could produce that much speed that fast. Im not sure if I closed my eyes or was just going so fast that I dont even remember going past her. I also didnt realise that the faster your going out of control the more narrow the path appeared to get. So now I feel like Im setting a new land speed record and am at a complete loss as I see a sharp corner coming up fast. I quickly realise I cannot make the corner, I just dont know how, :eyebulge: I must have missed that step at the bunny slope (must of been the manley man thing) So I quickly deduce I have two options. 1. blaze a new trail through the woods or 2. lay it down, I chose 2. I had no freaking idea how hard homemade snow was. I rolled, flipped, turned, flopped, it seemed like hundeds of feet one ski that way the other another. It must have been quite the site to see counting the number of medics that quickly surrounded me. I was very lucky, alot of brusing but nothing broken but my pride. The rest of the hill was taken on foot and the rest of the weekend in the hot tub.


Hilarious!! I know your pain lol. Being a southern boy, we had better things to do than strap boards on our feet and slide down a hill. Then I start dating a girl from Minnesota. She wants to go home for Christmas so we load up and go. We visit friends and family for a couple of days and have a great time. Then her brother calls and invites us skiing. Sure. Why not? How hard can it be? I now understand the phrase hindsight is 20/20.

We go to a town called Mankato. It is home to Mt. Kato, a popular skiing spot. Her brothers are running behind and are meeting us in an hour so I figure I have time to master sliding on snow. We get skis and head to the lift to go to the bunny hill. I fall 37 times in 50 yds. No problem, it's my first day. I master getting on the lift in one shot. I reinvented getting off the lift. Most folks hop off and turn and find a place to stop. To much energy wasted. I hop off and slide to the nearest tree and hold it like a warm woman on a cold night. Did you know that a five year olds laughter can lower your dignity exponentially?

I finally get myself positioned for the maiden flight down the bunny slope and take off. Immediately I fall. I get up. I go five feet. I fall. This continues all the way down the hill. A ski instructor notices my struggle and comes to help. We go to the lift and ride up. I repeat my energy conserving lift dismount. The instructor then starts giving me the rundown on what I need to do. I am apparently unable to follow simple instructions. After the third time I plow into him he tells me good luck and leaves.

I spend the next 35 minutes on the bunny hill and finally make one trip down without falling or running over anyone. I'm good. I got this. So we go down a more advanced hill and again I did well. At the bottom are her brothers and they are impressed with my superior skiing abilities and invite us to the black diamond with them. I'm thinking it's just a trail name so I'm like sure!! I can handle this.

I get on this hill and start rocketing down at the speed of sound. All is well until I see a jump coming up. Not a big one but a jump still. I haven't practiced jumps. However, I am a skier now. I got this. I hit the jump and it's amazing as I fly through the air. As I land, my skis cross and I tumble down the mountain at the speed of sound.

When I reach the bottom I take off my ski boots and retrieve my skis. I march into the rental area and throw the skis as far as I can over the counter, sling my boots onto the floor and go sit in the car and drink jack and cokes. That was my first and last skiing adventure.


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## RebStew (Aug 23, 2013)

TheLazyL said:


> Heating a cabin
> 
> Background. I had a cabin (8' x 12' storage shed) at a distant gun range. Friday night I would drive down, help setup for Saturday and spend the night.
> 
> ...


I was worried about posting my story but figured what the heck. The above had me laughing so hard I had tears almost. Sad part is all these crazy stories have to really happen to us poor suckers. None of us could have that great of an imagination. :rofl:


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## Hooch (Jul 22, 2011)

..these stories are funny...im sure we all have our collection of lame brain goof ups...always funny after one looks back over time..makes us all wonder how we survived ourselves sometimes...hee hee!

I used to melt wax on the wood stove in a container and place the container inside a cake sheet..just in case. I just plain forgot one time and the wax melted n overflowed the container...damb near caught my stove on fire from the outside.

another time: 

I dumped my wood ashes from the stove along the shed line to kill the weeds. Was going to drench the ashes with the water hoze to make sure I had no live coals...and as im walking back to the house..the SAR pager goes off...injured hiker on the beach, high tide comming in..so I get the familiar rush a SAR call used to give me n jump on it..

I get home a lil over a hour later n I see all this smoke from what it looked like due to it getting dark from my neighbors stove. I thought it odd because they told me the stove needed repair before they got to use it again and it'd be awhile before they could do it. 

Then I remembered what I was doing before I went on the SAR call n ding! 

I rush out the back door n find my shed smoldering...haa! I had just put in a cord of wood in it..I open it up and smoke billows out in droves..the floor is on fire but a smallish one still...thank god the humidity was high and it was cold and really foggy that night...so I grab the hoze and douse the flames...
There is no way im calling the fire dept...id never live it down that I caught my own shed on fire...I had to spend the next couple hours tossing the cord of wood I just put in there outside cuz the fire was creeping along the floor under the wood..I had to cut out the wood with my circular saw that was smoldering and the side of the shed that burnt for fear it was inbetween the layers of plywood..I was up till 2am tending to it and finally left the hoze on the floor on low to get anything I missed so I could get some sleep before work...what a tard!! haa! I fixed my shed but gawd..what a mess..


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## Hooch (Jul 22, 2011)

another time when I was way younger me and my friends went riding. My friend took her young horse out that was just out of training (she trains and shows) so it was his first time on the trail. I was on my well broke mare and our other friend was on her well broke geilding. Anyways...everything is going good...the young guy seemed to be having a good experience. He had a good level head on him and was taking all the new stuff in stride. We were mainly cruzin along, course we were drinking brew catching a buzz and my friend wants to introduce creek crossing with her young one. So I go first through a shallow part and everyone follows...no issues. It was a hot day and probably felt refreshing to the horses. we just stood there letting the young one get used to the expeirence. The mares were quiet..old hat to them and all was good. So my friend wants to try a deeper crossing with him. Im thinking lets not mess thiis up but in the end...we give it a whirl. Well..the crossing ended up being really deep. Deeper than we all thought..my horse goes first and its all good up untill she stepped off to the deep end and her head went underwater for a second. Fighting the current, water in the ears now..it surprised her and me as I float outta the saddle and just hanging on at this point. I give her her head and she like, screw this and she kinda did this rear up spin around slambed into the young one...my other friend is having a arguement with her horse by now ...he's like ok...shallow part is better im going that way. the young one starting dancing around like ummm...im not digging this anymore and my mare is heading to the bank trying to climb what looks like a impossible climb outta the water as im half on by now...so I have a bright idea to bail off ..completely forgetting a frightened young horse is right behind me dancing around. So I do this impressive back roll/flip-fall off my mares butt and splash into the water. As Im going down..I swear I make eye contact with the him...I go under and have a pucker moment realizing I jsut set myself up to be trampled. My friend said all they saw was my hair floating on top of the water as I wash down past them and her horse just stopped and watched me..snorting like WTF?? My mare did a standing 4 foot jump onto the bank and started having lunch while she waited for me..Im underwater franticlly searching for horse legs imaging im going to get stomped any minute as my friends are rolling..laughing so hard at me. 

It all ended up a good ride and hopefully good story...


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## zracer7 (Apr 17, 2012)

Got some good hunting stories my dad used to tell all the time. My old man, his best friend and my uncle go hunting every year. One year there out in the thick stuff and its starting to get dark and my uncle gets a bit turned around. So, he fires off three rounds for his sidearm to let my dad and his buddy know he is lost. My old man answers and begins his search. About 15-20 pass and neither one finds each other. Uncle fires off another three. Answered. Search continues. Nothing. By this time its getting real dark. Uncle gets pissed so he fires of his rifle. Uncle is now deaf. My dad's freaking out thinking he had a run in with momma bear to the cub he stubbled upon about half an hour ago. So he's running through the woods yelling my uncles name but he can't hear a damn thing. Finally he hears my uncle call out to him. His voice sounds like hes in pain. Dad's thinking the worst. Maybe he shot momma bear or maybe he's mauled and in pieces. Dad finally finds my uncle and nothings wrong. Can't hear shit, but alright. 

Another time the three amigos were out hunting again and met up with a couple of GIs. They have a great time talking around the camp fire but my dad looks at their camp and says "hey, you may want to dig a trench to keep the rain out of your tent. Looks like its going to rain tonight." Course the GIs think my dads crazy. "Its not supposed to rain tonight". So my dad just leaves it at that. 3am it pissin rain and there's a knock on the trailer door. My uncle opens the door and here's these two GIs in their skivvies shivering like hell. They didnt hang their gear in the tent so all their clothes are soaked. Uncle laughs and let's them in to have them sleep on the floor. Next morning they hop in their truck and leave.... Still in their skivvies.


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

I'm sailing back from a prospecting trip when about two days from port the main sheet whips around neatly flipping my glasses off my face and into the briny deep where they reside to this day. Not having a spare set of glasses and being almost legally blind without them, my optometrist got my glasses from Coca-Cola, I found myself in something of a pickle. The blurry blue around me was water and the blue above was the sky. The blurry brown and green stripes had to be land and were to be avoided. 

Anchoring that night was interesting. Without being able to see judging distance posed a significant challenge, as did reading the chart. When I really needed to see something I was able to use my binoculars but the field of view was too small to use them for anything except momentary confirmation of my position. Coming into port I found it relatively easy to avoid the other docks but bringing my sailboat into the slip without damaging either the boat or the dock was a bit like porcupines mating. Later conversations with myself as to the proper number of spare glasses lead to laser surgery.


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## Wellrounded (Sep 25, 2011)

Most of my stupid moments involve animals. 15 years milking cows when you're still half asleep leads to some pretty stupid stuff. I've been pooped on constantly, kicked, run over, kicked, crushed, kicked, bitten, kicked and then kicked some more. Worst one was an early morning on the first week with new heifers, frightened and bad tempered young ladies  Was putting cups on the last row and not paying the least bit of attention, reached up to the last cow and BOOT. Two feet square in the chest, she was caught through the railings and I was knocked out 5 feet away. I woke up to a worried milking partner, very, very sore chest, very sore back where I hit the concrete pit rail and a damn cow that had to be calmed down and threaded back through the bars. It's so easy to become complacent when you do something everyday, but there is nothing as unpredictable and dangerous as large animal.


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

Caribou said:


> neatly flipping my glasses off my face and into the briny deep where they reside to this day. Not having a spare set of glasses and being almost legally blind without them...


I used to drive OTR semi-truck.... and I am also addicted to downhill skiing.

I had some free time, so I drop the trailer at a small truck stop and hit the slopes.

I seldom _hit_ "literally" but this one time I did... and my glasses are still somewhere up on Alexandria Mountain. Driving 6 hours back home in a semi truck with no glasses was NO FUN! (and most likely incredibly illegal)


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

Hooch said:


> I rush out the back door n find my shed smoldering....


My friend John came home from work to find that a log had rolled against the door of his stove and knocked it open, rolling out onto the floor of his home. He walks in when he gets home and the smoke has filled his house and all the fire alarms are going off. The log had burned all the way through the floor, and was under the house. The whole room the stove was in was smoldering. How his home never went in flames can only be explained away by angels keeping it from doing so!!


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## GrinnanBarrett (Aug 31, 2012)

I bought a bunch of silver coins from dealer I did not normally do business with during Y2K times. The pure silver coins turned out to be plated and I was holding junk. I did at least learn a great lesson. Always buy from people you know and trust. GB


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