# Terror before first coffee......or Sniff my butt, but please don't bite.



## Sourdough (May 22, 2010)

I was guiding a hunter in Wide Bay, on the Alaska Peninsula, it was the day before the bear season opened, so the hunter and I slept in. I had two 8'X8' "Bombshelter" tents set up facing each other about 6' apart. One was for sleeping and the other for cooking. I told the hunter to stay in his bag till I get the coffee made and the cook tent heated. So I crawl out of the sleep tent on hands and knees, and figure as it is only 6 feet till I have to get back on my hands and knees, I'll just crawl over to the cook tent.

Well I get about halfway and a nice 9' brown bear comes from behind the cook tent and walks right up to me, still on my hands and knees. I don't want to move more than necessary, so I go down slowly onto my elbows and knees and freeze with my hands over my neck fingers locked, waiting. The bear walks up to me and sniffs my head, then continues moving till it head is over my butt, and its front feet are next to my elbows. For a long time it just sniffs my butt, which after almost three months afield was very aromatic. Plus most likely there was dried blood on my pants from packing moose meat.

I waited, and waited, and waited, fully expecting to get swatted by his large paw, and I don't get mauled.

As nothing was happening (I was not getting nibbled) the bear was just sniffing my butt. I remembered I was responsible for the hunters safety and calmly told him not to move or bump the sleep tent. The bear just stayed there sniffing my butt, (the flap to the sleep tent was still open) so I calmly asked the hunter to slid a rifle out to me with out disturbing the tent. He said, "Which one do you want". Remember he still did not know there was a Brown Bear on top of me. I said, slide my rifle out slowly, very slowly, but he needs to stay in the tent. Well, now he wants to know what is going on......???? I tell him. 

He says, "do you want the barrel first"....??? I said, yes and about that time as the rifle started out the flap of the sleep tent, the bear calmly raised up and swung to his right, and slowly walked off. I watched his large butt walk away. I then made coffee. I am so glad the hunter remained calm. Even more happy I did not get bit.

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I've had hundreds intimate bear encounters, even one where I got bit (not badly) but this bear could have ended my guiding career in one swat, or one bite.


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## Country Living (Dec 15, 2009)

:lolsmash: I can't quit laughing long enough to come up with a reasonable response......


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## AKPrepper (Mar 18, 2011)

Good thing he wasn't....um.....looking for love!


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## Sourdough (May 22, 2010)

GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 



AKPrepper said:


> Good thing he wasn't....um.....looking for love!


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## redhorse (Dec 27, 2012)

Well Sourdough, it sounds like you've got....

The bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life

Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn't be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin' in the tree
To make some honey just for me
When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few

The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

I'm sorry I couldn't resist lol


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## mojo4 (Feb 19, 2012)

So if a bear rapes you in the woods do you tell anyone?? Just asking for a friend. That is one experience where you just PRAY to not pass gas. No sense crop dusting a bruin!!


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

So, Sourdough, what does a bear sound like when it laughs?


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