# Star Fall



## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

My newest story Star Fall is in the process of being shredded by NK... but should be along shortly...

My main reason for this intro is to say that it has some real every day language in it.. I know some of you never hear this stuff.. I was issued most of these words in Boot camp.. 

It's not my usual story but I really like it and plan to introduce "Addendum's" to it, It just got finished before I was really ready so I'm going write some fun stuff... lots of shooting and chasing and stuff...

I hope yawl like it and truly enjoy it, the premise is one I've thought about a long time and never got to it so I did the first few pages in my mind while driving back and forth across the country.. 

Hozay Buck


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

HozayBuck said:


> My newest story Star Fall is in the process of being shredded by NK... but should be along shortly...
> 
> My main reason for this intro is to say that it has some real every day language in it.. I know some of you never hear this stuff.. I was issued most of these words in Boot camp..
> 
> ...


Too those who have asked in PM's.. NK has it, he's probably wasting editing time working for a living!... jeeeeze some people put their living ahead of my entertainment..
:2thumb::beercheer:.. go NK!!


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## NaeKid (Oct 17, 2008)

Ya ya ya ... I am still finishing off "Republic" first .. got another page done today during my breaks. The job that pays my bills is keeping me quite busy, but, I am making progress.


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## UncleJoe (Jan 11, 2009)

Shucks.  Here I thought it was posted.


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

*Star Fall...for real this time!!*

*A word of caution here this story is one I had thought about for a long time at least the plot ... As with anything I write I have no idea where it will go or become.. I'm not a writer , more of a story teller.. I don't use chapters etc.. I think NK may put them in ,but I don't..

Now... BE AWARE!!! this story has a lot of "MARINE" language in it , if that bothers you then don't read it... you've been warned.... it's no where near as bad as a R rated movie but more then some of you may be used to...

I ended this story before I intended to.. so I went back with plans to add to it..but I like it as it is... so, my plan is to write some additional parts sort of like a journal where things were added later...

GypsySue is posting it for me coz I'm too dumb to figger it out... I hope yawl like it, if not tuff chit!! lol 

To NK thank you sir for your help..and please never let your kindness interfere with your job or your family time... baring that, get off your ass and get moving!!! :2thumb:*


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

Here's Hozay's story! Enjoy!


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## semperscott (Nov 7, 2010)

Thanks Gypsysue!

Looking forward to reading it HozayBuck, being a Marine myself.


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## UncleJoe (Jan 11, 2009)

Too long to start tonight.  Guess it'll have to wait till tomorrow.


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## Shakkie (Dec 6, 2010)

Great story Thanks


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## Tirediron (Jul 12, 2010)

Hozay Buck you are one amazing story teller, Great tale
Little constructive note, the names seem to get mixed up in places,(Tinker??)
but a very good read :beercheer:
(I know it is a raw edit)


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## WiseTioga (Nov 13, 2008)

Read your new story with a good deal of interest. Understand that it was a "Rough Draft". I liked it and enjoyed reading it, however, in all honesty I was somewhat dissappointed in your characters. At lease four [4] of them were very easily seen as just different names for prime characters in your other two stories. That's O.K. I guess, however, was looking for more from you. Guess I will have to wait on the final rewrite.

Best Wishes,
Jon (aka Wise Tioga)


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## UncleJoe (Jan 11, 2009)

Thanks for the great story Hozay! :beercheer:


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## Ezmerelda (Oct 17, 2010)

Hoorah! I liked the story very much! Changing from third person to first person and back again kinda slows the story down, something to consider for the final draft.

Thanks for writing! :melikey:


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## Reblazed (Nov 11, 2010)

This is the first story posted here that I've read ... thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks. Please consider telling a sequel from the standpoint of an extended family of "newcomers" and how they deal with the town and vice versa.

Gotta check out some others now.


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

Tirediron said:


> Hozay Buck you are one amazing story teller, Great tale
> Little constructive note, the names seem to get mixed up in places,(Tinker??)
> but a very good read :beercheer:
> (I know it is a raw edit)


Thanks Tired
I went thru that thing I'll bet a dozen times looking for that name change.. I changed it in about the middle and I swear I had em all.. and the lovely GypsySusan read it and i asked her to look for those problems and she did too.. NK got rushed by me to post it because I thought it was ok..lol..guess not!

As for the bouncing back and forth with the first person thing , If I knew what I was doing it would help! but I truly have no idea where one of my story's is going who's in it or why...
I'd like to say I'll do better in the future but I doubt that will happen...

Glad you liked it!


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

WiseTioga said:


> Read your new story with a good deal of interest. Understand that it was a "Rough Draft". I liked it and enjoyed reading it, however, in all honesty I was somewhat dissappointed in your characters. At lease four [4] of them were very easily seen as just different names for prime characters in your other two stories. That's O.K. I guess, however, was looking for more from you. Guess I will have to wait on the final rewrite.
> 
> Best Wishes,
> Jon (aka Wise Tioga)


I agree about my characters , and ya know, I've read every book Louis L'Amour ever wrote and loved them, but my main problem with his style was after having read four of his books you could say your had read them all.. but I loved them anyway..

I'm sorry you were disappointed but I doubt it will change much, I guess I have ingrained in my head the kind of people I like and their abilities and other then making one short and fat or the women ugly lol...I can't see where to change them.. in life unless there was a problem at birth we all have 2 arms legs and hopefully a head with a brain in it.. we mostly walk up right .

Every few years I stumble over my Platoon book from boot camp and it never fails to amaze me that by the end of that 3 month period other then skin color and height we all looked alike..same dead eyed stare, no smile , I guess they wanted to train emotion out of us.. it worked... my first job in Law Enforcement my Chief told me to smile or I'd scare the hell out of people, I was kinda hurt because I thought I was smiling.. I actually tried standing in front of a mirror and smiling ..

Anyway, glad you enjoyed the parts you did...and don't think bad of me if my style don't change..


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## WiseTioga (Nov 13, 2008)

Hozay;
I was and am a Louis L'Amour fan also and I do have to agree with your thoughts on his books. And yes you are the author and no matter what your readers say, you will write the way you feel and that's not all bad by a long shot. I just personaly feel that unless you're writing a series the characters should be somewhat different. Doesn't make your story bad, it just doesn't sit quite as well with me. I do look forward to the final, finished draft and to your future writings. Best Wishes. Jon (aka: Wise Tioga)


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## Donald (Sep 1, 2010)

*about starfall*

HozayBuck.......it is a good read but too politically correct......haviing a white, a black and a Indian working together.......numerically that is not likely.
Got the feeling you were overly concerned about offending someone. Donald


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## wildone_uk (Aug 9, 2010)

i have never read so much drivel in one sitting befor, lol, more please


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

Donald said:


> HozayBuck.......it is a good read but too politically correct......haviing a white, a black and a Indian working together.......numerically that is not likely.
> Got the feeling you were overly concerned about offending someone. Donald


DUDE!!! if you knew me you'd never say I was PC !! I'm so far from that it's out of sight, I think PC is the ruin of America....

Now as to having diverse folks in the read... come on. now.. why should it be a bunch of white guys..? I served in the Marines with Blacks, Asians , Indians , you name it we had it...

Like the big F'n deal about gays in the military.. I could give a shit less, if he made it thru boot camp he earned the same right to be called Marine that I did... and if my ass was laying out there and I needed help would I refuse to be carried to safety by a Gay ??? hell no.. !!!

In a story like mine I think the different races working together in a SHTF would be the way it would go.. if you have my six , I could care less what color your skin is.. Black Marines bleed red.. wow..just like me!! who woulda thunk?...

It's just a story folks... write your own!!... I wrote this one in my head while driving round trip from Mt to TX and back...

I like it!!...

Wait till you get a chance to read "The Free Republic of Texas"... then your really gonna howl!!.. the beauty of writing is you can make shit up.. hell folks can fly if you want them to...

I'm sure it's been noticed that in two of my reads the dog was named ...dog... why? coz I wanted to call him Dog...

I used to call my horse... ready?..." Horse ".. he didn't give a shit as long as his grain arrived on time and in the proper quantity.. naming critters is something we do for us ,they don't care.. I had a **** hound that answered 
to" Sonofabitch".. 

I write for me.. I only post because a few folks asked me too... read it or not.. I care not.. and I doubt I'll change my style...plus WTF your not paying 10 bucks for a book... it's free!!...

Please note... I was smiling thru this entire post... really..

*I forgot to mention that Donald forgot to mention there was an old white guy, a hot babe, an Asian and a skinny white boy...! now that's PC !!........*


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

wildone_uk said:


> i have never read so much drivel in one sitting befor, lol, more please


Ahhh the other side of the big water heard from... let me explain a bit... the things like 1187...1911... colt.. AR 15...M16... these are all guns...yes evil black guns.. which we "colonials " can own ...and in large quantities.... I'm sure the concept is strange to you..but please read on and maybe you will come to understand "Freedom"... it's not just drivel... what I write is tho!!!... and I thank you for pointing it out, some of the red necked yanks in the forum may not have that figgered out,,, tho I'm sure your more free cousins north of the border understand it...

You guys are becoming a rough audience !! critics abounding eh what?... tis fine I have broad shoulders lay it on!!...


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## wildone_uk (Aug 9, 2010)

hi,my comment was not ment to be a criticism but a humorous remark on how much i enjoyd your story my apolgy if i caused offence, laurence


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

wildone_uk said:


> hi,my comment was not ment to be a criticism but a humorous remark on how much i enjoyd your story my apolgy if i caused offence, laurence


Hey Laurence , not at all, I was just jerking your chain back.. We all know what we like or don't.. I don't expect anybody to like my stuff, I write it for me..

I don't watch TV much but I know yawl have some big problems over there with the Muslim issues etc.. and to be unarmed would make me grayer then I am..

In truth almost all "PAW" stories are just as you said, none of us know what will happen, when we write about it we can only write it as "we Think it will be" none of us have a clue..

I'm not a detail person, I can't dwell on what name brand knife the hero has or the pack he carries his high dollar , high tech gear in..

I priced some of the gear mentioned in other stories and let me tell you I will never pay $300 or more for a back pack... that's just to far over the top for me.. I figure if the guy has a knife and it cuts so be it... and a gunny sack would work if that's all you have..

Sorry I degress ...again...and again.. I'm glad you enjoyed the story... I never meant any of mine to be lessons on survival , for that read military training manuals.. I just enjoy playing at writing...

Later L and good luck over there, I believe your gonna need it....
HB


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## wildone_uk (Aug 9, 2010)

hi,hb i did like your story and think you should write more,it is nice to see someone able to write this kind of story even if it is for yourself ,many thanks for shareing it with the rest of us kind regaurds laurence


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

Being a writer myself, I know what it takes to write these stories. Hozay does a good job carrying his plot all the way through a story. Yes, there are little quirks where it switched from 1st person to 3rd person viewpoint, and when Hozay sent it to me for help with editing I left things like that alone. Hozay has a style all his own and if I start hacking it up, it takes away from the story. I went through that doing editing on Hozay's Wyoming story, and then the version I edited wasn't the one posted. So on Star Fall I was reluctant to spend a lot of time making changes, not because Hozay would have minded. I guess it's a "too many cooks in the kitchen" thing with different people editing the same story. 

We write these stories for the pure joy of writing. No one gets paid for it, and no one has to pay to read them. Anyone can write and post a story. It would be nice to see more people taking the time to do so. One person, writing from their own frame of reference and preferences, can only put in so much variety. I'm sure when people go to read my stories, if they've read the previous ones, they have a preconceived notion of how the story will unfold, and they're probably pretty close to right! Same with Jerry's, Hozay's, SNT's... Isn't it the same when you pick up the newest novel from whoever your favorite author is? 

Oh, and one more thing...Hozay politically correct??? :lolsmash: He probably heard me laughing all the way from Texas when I read that! I love Hozay's attitude. He's the most non-judgemental person I've ever met, as far as having any bias about race or anything else! He definitely has his own opinions and he's never afraid to share them, and he'd never kiss anyone's a$$ for the sake of politically correct! 

Keep writing, Hozay. Some of the rest of you...write too! I'm out of stuff to read...


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## wildone_uk (Aug 9, 2010)

my apolgy for not giveing credit to gypsysue forthe grand job she did with the edit, well done kind reguards laurence


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

wildone_uk said:


> my apolgy for not giveing credit to gypsysue forthe grand job she did with the edit, well done kind reguards laurence


If you haven't read her stories your cheating yourself !!... check em out...She is a real writer!... and I think can or has made $$ doing it!!...


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

But that's just it...I DIDN'T do justice to Hozay's story on editing. I didn't edit it like I should have. It goes on to naekid for the final edit and changeover to .pdf, and I left it for him after I did an initial proof-read. I'm sorry, Hozay. And sorry to naekid for dumping it all on him, on top of the already heavy workload he has.


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

gypsysue said:


> But that's just it...I DIDN'T do justice to Hozay's story on editing. I didn't edit it like I should have. It goes on to naekid for the final edit and changeover to .pdf, and I left it for him after I did an initial proof-read. I'm sorry, Hozay. And sorry to naekid for dumping it all on him, on top of the already heavy workload he has.


Hey GS no blood, no foul !! lol.. I'm the one who rushed that story, I rushed NK.. he didn't think it was ready... I did.. so problems...

I'm happy with it.. nuff said... nobody can call foul because nobody paid anything for it.. so lets all drop it... I like it GS liked it... nuff said


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## efbjr (Oct 20, 2008)

*One small point...*

Something that bugs the heck out of me, the interchangeable use of "*loose*" and "*lose*", in the various PAW stories that I have read. 

*loose* (ls)
adj. loos·er, loos·est
1. Not fastened, restrained, or contained: loose bricks.
2. Not taut, fixed, or rigid: a loose anchor line; a loose chair leg.
3. Free from confinement or imprisonment; unfettered: criminals loose in the neighborhood; dogs that are loose on the streets.
4. Not tight-fitting or tightly fitted: loose shoes.
5. Not bound, bundled, stapled, or gathered together: loose papers.
6. Not compact or dense in arrangement or structure: loose gravel.
7. Lacking a sense of restraint or responsibility; idle: loose talk.
8. Not formal; relaxed: a loose atmosphere at the club.
9. Lacking conventional moral restraint in sexual behavior.
10. Not literal or exact: a loose translation.
11. Characterized by a free movement of fluids in the body: a loose cough; loose bowels.

*lose* (lz)
v. lost (lôst, lst), los·ing, los·es
v.tr.
1. To be unsuccessful in retaining possession of; mislay: He's always losing his car keys.
2.
a. To be deprived of (something one has had): lost her art collection in the fire; lost her job.
b. To be left alone or desolate because of the death of: lost his wife.
c. To be unable to keep alive: a doctor who has lost very few patients.
3. To be unable to keep control or allegiance of: lost his temper at the meeting; is losing supporters by changing his mind.
4. To fail to win; fail in: lost the game; lost the court case.
5. To fail to use or take advantage of: Don't lose a chance to improve your position.
6. To fail to hear, see, or understand: We lost the plane in the fog. I lost her when she started speaking about thermodynamics.
7.
a. To let (oneself) become unable to find the way.
b. To remove (oneself), as from everyday reality into a fantasy world.
8. To rid oneself of: lost five pounds.
9. To consume aimlessly; waste: lost a week in idle occupations.
10. To wander from or become ignorant of: lose one's way.
11.
a. To elude or outdistance: lost their pursuers.
b. To be outdistanced by: chased the thieves but lost them.
12. To become slow by (a specified amount of time). Used of a timepiece.
13. To cause or result in the loss of: Failure to reply to the advertisement lost her the job.
14. To cause to be destroyed. Usually used in the passive: Both planes were lost in the crash.
15. To cause to be damned.

Dictionary, Encyclopedia and Thesaurus - The Free Dictionary

Some writers seem to do this more than others, but I enjoy all of their work. Maybe it's a regional thing,  or maybe I'm being a picky Yankee P.I.T.A.  Keep up the good work, and use a dictionary!


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## mosquitomountainman (Jan 25, 2010)

It is (or is it "its" or "it's") an editing thing quite often. But really, what does it matter? This isn't a High School writing class and you aren't the teacher.

You're getting free entertainment and should be getting lots of different ideas of how things might play out in a real life SHTF situation. BACK OFF ON THE CRITICISM! Even "contructive" criticism is still criticism.

Someone did a pile of work putting these stories together and they didn't get a dime from it. They didn't have to share them with the rest of us but did. Do you complain about the food when you visit someone's house and they feed you? Learn some manners. If you want to be part of a friendly, considerate and supporting forum then be friendly, considerate and supporting.

If you don't like them then don't read any written by that author. If you know enough to tell others how to do it "right" you should be posting your own stories. Or are you afraid of someone like you reading them and criticizing your work?


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

This isn't a site dedicated to writing or the proper use of English or spelling or punctuation. 

The point is preparedness, and those of us who write these stories do so to entertain by writing our stories around preparedness and survival, and to (hopefully) bring out a few points about preparedness and some "how-to"s. 

Some people learn better from reading preparedness ideas in a story they can relate to, more than from how-to threads. 

Before I wrote my first story, I read all of Jerry's and learned a lot. I can only imagine how many people are farther along in their preps because of the inspiration or knowledge gained from the stories. 

But if we're going to talk misuse of words...people seem to have problems with "then" and "than", "their" and "they're", "your" and "you're". So what? It's not why I'm here at this forum!


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## wildone_uk (Aug 9, 2010)

re- gypsysue, these are my feelings i could not have put it better, and put with such elegance (had to look that one up in the dickanairy,see cant spell dictionary) happy new year to everyone


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## efbjr (Oct 20, 2008)

*Sorry...*

Didn't mean to upset anyone. :dunno:

I really like the stories and have got a lot of good information from them. :2thumb:

I'm going to find a rock to hide under until the "fallout" from this dies down! :surrender:


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## HarleyRider (Mar 1, 2010)

The only problem I have with this story is the words "RAW EDIT" in BIG BOLD LETTERS AND A FANCY FONT across the middle of each page... it makes some of the letters hard to read at times. Other than that, I liked it. :wave:


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

efbjr said:


> Didn't mean to upset anyone. :dunno:
> 
> I really like the stories and have got a lot of good information from them. :2thumb:
> 
> I'm going to find a rock to hide under until the "fallout" from this dies down! :surrender:


*Aww for Gods sake , get yer ass out from under that rock.. coz yer butts stickin out an it ain't purty..... I knos all bout how ta use wurds..Slick Willy taught me what IS ...is... 

Don't worry bout it, you said what you felt, others did the same.. it's called free speech.. enjoy it while you can.. coz soon anything besides "ALL Hail Obama" will be hate talk..

We got more to worry bout then the Kings English... we are gonna lose our country and damn soon if we don't get to screaming at our Congress critters... tell em simply to read the damn Founding Documents and then obey them... or get the boot... 
We either start making more noise then the left or we will be drowned out..

If all of us used just a 10th of the time we take arguing over words in here we could make phone calls to our Senators and tell em to flat out obey the Constitution "AS WRITTEN" or get the hell out of office.. *


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## longjohn (Jan 28, 2011)

This is a good one! More like it is gonna be when the time comes..............Thanks


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## Magus (Dec 1, 2008)

Wow!what an entertaining read!:2thumb:


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

I've decided there is a good "book Idea " here and I want to get back to it and fill out the blank spots.. I think there are things and other stuff out there that need killing!.. who among us wouldn't love to be racing around with a hot set of wheels and a mounted Mini gun wasting crites from the dark side??..


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## Wags (Dec 29, 2008)

Good read, thanks!


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## Catshooter (Nov 7, 2011)

Hozay,

I'm enjoying your hard work. I *really* liked the High Country Journal! You had me laughing out loud quite a few times for real and that's not easy to do.

Cat


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

*I had forgotten about this thread, and i do intend to revisit the story with a write "IN" now that winter has come to east Texas and I need something to do while staying inside on these 45 to 60 degree days and 30 degree nights....( EAT YOU"RE HEART OUT GS !!!! )

Anyway, I do plan to get back to it...and i have another in my head that's wanting out... so i need to be working on it too...

So I promise I will give thought to trying to do better.. but don't hold yawls breath... but I'm sure wanting to get into some shoot up stuff... and i will try to edit it better before I ask somebody else to look at it...I promise GS and NK 
*


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## Catshooter (Nov 7, 2011)

Hozay,

If you need help with editing I can lend a hand if you'd like.


Cat


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

*Thanks Cat , you don't know what you're getting into...I'll let ya know..

I really loved HCJ MT, it was my first attempt at writing anything outside of a check and I gotta say I reread it as I went along and I laughed so hard I too had to wipe tears..I used to have that old Roan horse, and I had many a day when I woulda shot the SOB but it was always way back in the High Lonesome and I woulda had to pack my saddle out ..it was tempting tho.. but about the time we got close enough for me to really start thinking I could carry the saddle he would just turn sweet as a kitten...

I wish i hadn't finished with Buck and the family but I just can't see a way to revisit them... maybe in time..*


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## NaeKid (Oct 17, 2008)

HozayBuck said:


> *Thanks Cat , you don't know what you're getting into...I'll let ya know..*


eep:

:wave:


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

HozayBuck said:


> *Thanks Cat , you don't know what you're getting into...I'll let ya know...*


ROTFL! :lolsmash: :lolsmash:

:ignore:



Love ya, Hozay!


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

gypsysue said:


> ROTFL! :lolsmash: :lolsmash:
> 
> :ignore:
> 
> ...


You an yer Naked Northern Neighbor ain't funny... truthful...fine, but not funny!!......:beercheer:


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## gypsysue (Mar 27, 2010)

:threadbump:


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## Jimthewagontraveler (Feb 8, 2012)

Oh oh ooohh
HehehehahaHAHAHAHa
Oh gosh I love this place!!!
I grew up in an environment that demand reading.
( Can you say introvert?)
In grade school I read the school library.

( it was a very small town)
In highschool I read the highschool library.
Can you imagine my shock/dismay/JOY on the day a 
Bookmobile parked at the grocery store?
I have NEVER read a story that didn't have at least one
whoops!
My english teacher actually had me read every book in 
Her room and point out each flaw.
Very smart woman.
Because of her I can enjoy and learn from imperfection.
I actually had the brains to tell my grandfather about the
Korean war.
And halfway through he said WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?
That's when I remembered he was there
Whoops


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## timmie (Jan 14, 2012)

:crossfinger:i have just finiished reading star fall. very good. enjoyed reading it. can't wait for your next one.


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## HozayBuck (Jan 27, 2010)

*Ahh thanks timmie but yer tastes must run cattywhampus coz that story sure got beat to death by Reviewers.. I keep planning to pull it from kindle and redo it..OR not...lol but I'm glad you liked it.. I keep thinking I should redo it and add to it coz I ended it too soon due to other issues in my life...

Thanks again!!
HB*


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## Enchant18 (Feb 21, 2012)

HB, I am so surprised to hear that because of all the stories I have read StarFall always stands out in my head. I truly enjoyed it.


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## Chevy (Aug 20, 2012)

HozayBuck said:


> * I keep thinking I should redo it and add to it coz I ended it too soon due to other issues in my life...
> 
> Thanks again!!
> HB*


I just finished it too. _*Gonna have to give it 5 stars too*_. It started at a decent speed and just kept building speed. YES, I agree with you, an add to it would be great. I don't know how you would do that, with the story being 25 years ahead already. No worries though, you will figure something out and make it happen.

You had a couple small things to change/fix. Where they snuck up on the Mongols:

"after striping tying them we tossed them into their vehicles and drove them down into the valley to have a chat, the ladies were dressed and waiting for the _*naked scared peeping toms*_. And these ol boys were scared spit less ."

and a few paragraphs later:

"Those ladies were all over him in a flash, out came their _*knives and off came his clothing*_ , one had his balls in her hand and a knife under them when he started screaming that he spoke English!"

so if you do a small re-write to fix that somehow. I like the idea of the ladies cutting their clothes off to get their attention.

Regards


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