# Being approached in parking lot??



## Backyardcreek (Feb 12, 2015)

Ok, admittedly I'm more inclined to be very cautious when I park my vehicle. Always look at vehicles surrounding my vehicle, people walking, etc.
The other day I stepped out of my vehicle and out of no where there is a gentleman approaching me (within three feet) as I was walking toward the store.

He spoke as he was heading my way with a pamphlet in his hand. I backed up and stated he needed to step back and not approach me. (I have issues with people panhandling/passing out papers that litter the ground).

He became angry, said a few unpleasant words then walked away.

I understand that small businesses need to 'put the word out', religion needs to save lives, panhandler needs food. What I do not understand is that in today's world, why any person 'thinks' it's ok to approach a stranger in a parking lot.

I have read too many news articles where children are snatched, people are harmed, etc. in broad daylight. Have I lost my last shred of human kindness?

BTW this has happened twice in the last week at two different stores/small city in the morning business hours.


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## AKPrepper (Mar 18, 2011)

Kudos to you for your actions. We've been so conditioned in our society to "be nice" and "not offend", that we frequently overlook our own safety in situations like this. I too do not allow anyone to come up to me like that. I usually smile, put my hand out in a "stop" fashion, and ask them to keep thier distance. The first time I did this my wife later told me I was rude. OK. I'd much rather be rude than get assulted, or allow her to get assulted. It's always difficult the first couple of times you have to do it, but after that it's much easier. Now, here I am years later, and I don't give it a second thought....nor does my wife. Only one time did the person keep coming towards me, but as soon as I moved my hand to my hip, he turned and walked away. I'm sure most of these people do not mean me any harm, but why take a chance? I'd rather be "rude"........


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## readytogo (Apr 6, 2013)

*Some statistics.*

Crimes and locations where this crimes took place, you'll be surprise.
http://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=44
Today`s life is a fast one we take for granted many things to include our safety and crime or predator's are all around many people that I know pay more attention to who is who on TV that their own life they walk around with the cell phone stuck to their heads I find that very ignorant.


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## IlliniWarrior (Nov 30, 2010)

report those guys to the customer service desk as an assault .... that's what it is .... just about every retail place has rules against that kind of intrusion and loitering ....

when it's a parking lot con job in operation .... common at Home Depot, Lowes, Menards ect ect is the "help a fellow union brother out" .... panhandling for car repair money or gas .... those kind of guys are minutes away from reaching into a contractor's pickup and stealing a power saw or something else pawnable ..... call the cops immediately


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

This past Saturday the family (K, Roo and I) were leaving a store with a shopping cart and our purchases when a man approached us. He started his story by saying that everyone has been soooooo rude and he and his GF are out of gas and need to get home. (no car or GF in sight) K gave our usual speech of how we don't carry any cash (a lie) and maybe the man could try the gas station across the parking lot.

I was very put off by this guy because he was wearing designer clothing and had an iphone on his hip. Plus how scary to be a woman with a child approached by some random stranger asking for money!


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## Viking (Mar 16, 2009)

Most often I don't go in the stores to shop with my wife, basically I sit in the vehicle listening to the radio and people watch, that's an education in itself. I have watched panhandlers going from car to car that people were in and I've even warned the panhandlers to leave others alone, especially when the people in the vehicle were older and couldn't defend themselves so well. If they come my way I just shake my head and most often they turn away, if I'm in a parking lot with cctv cameras I might point that out to them. Anyway, I don't want anyone that I have a feeling about to be in grabbing distance to me or my wife, too much can happen far too quickly in that circumstance.


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## Balls004 (Feb 28, 2015)

I guess my question to you is, while what you did worked in this case, what would you have been prepared to do if it had escalated past the point that it did? Do you carry a get off of me knife, or pepper spray, or carry a concealed pistol?

My wife and I discuss these scenarios frequently, and it is always better to be proactive rather than reactive.

One tactic that anyone can use if you are caught unawares in a parking lot and have no other defense, is to immediately slide underneath the closest truck or SUV and start screaming. It's very difficult to remove someone who doesn't want out from underneath, and most bad guys will give up and get away as fast as they can. This doesn't work so well for the ex husband or boyfriend that might be stalking you, but the average crook won't bother. If you have a purse, it doesn't hurt to leave it on the ground either.

Congratulations on winning this one, be prepared to win all of them!


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## jnrdesertrats (Jul 3, 2010)

A few years ago my wife walked passed a young couple leaving the grocery store that were sitting at the exit, all pierced and punked out. She said she looked at them and apparently could not hide her look of disapproval. Moments later the man apporoched her at her car and began talking aggressively. She held her ground and told him to think hard because he was about to get his ass beat my a old lady with a cane. I am not sure what he had in mind but he no longer saw her as an easy target. The female was already driving up and they made hasty exit. As my wife backed out she saw a very large cowboy who witnessed the whole thing, unknown to either party. She said he just gave her a big smile. Apparently the punk was about to get a cowboy ass whouping also.


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## Starcreek (Feb 4, 2015)

Okay.....so how do you folks get help when your car is broke down? Let's say you're just on a quick run to the store, and didn't take a phone or radio with you. You go out to your car, and it won't start. You just spent all your cash in the store, and you don't have your debit/credit card. Someone's passing by, and all you want is to ask him to jump your car off.

If everyone says, "Stop! Get away!" how do you ask for help?

I am a black belt and have taught kids self-defense. I stress to the kids to never get within reach of a stranger. Too many kids have been snatched, never to be seen again. But for an adult that's not as big a risk. Besides, most attackers will not approach you from the front, talking to you. They will usually slip up unaware, from behind, or when you're distracted sitting in your car.

If someone walks up to me in a public place, and begins speaking to me, I speak back. Maybe it's just a Southern thing.....


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## LincTex (Apr 1, 2011)

Starcreek said:


> Okay.....so how do you folks get help when your car is broke down? You go out to your car, and it won't start. Someone's passing by, and all you want is to ask him to jump your car off.


I've never failed to stop and help a woman in need.

I've only been burned once (not bad, just a couple gallons of gas).


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## Woody (Nov 11, 2008)

Starcreek said:


> Okay.....so how do you folks get help when your car is broke down? Let's say you're just on a quick run to the store, and didn't take a phone or radio with you. You go out to your car, and it won't start. You just spent all your cash in the store, and you don't have your debit/credit card. Someone's passing by, and all you want is to ask him to jump your car off.


Good question. I would put the hood up and stand by the vehicle and when I saw anyone, wave my hands over my head and shout to get their attention. "Hello! Hello?!! I need a jump for my car, can you help me??" I would make myself very obvious and attract as much attention as I could. Same as being stuck on the highway. I would stick by the vehicle so folks knew it was me in need of assistance, not just someone wandering down the highway trying to flag folks down. In a store parking lot, I would go inside and ask to use the phone. It isn't like years ago when they asked if it was local or long distance!!!


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## HamiltonFelix (Oct 11, 2011)

There is no one universal correct answer to being approached that you can post in an internet forum. There are too many variables, too many signals to read. I'd be first to admit that my ex-cop wife has a better situational awareness than do I - who spent a couple of my formative decades voluntarily helping injured people who mostly _wanted_ to be helped (she has a nicer collection of scars, too).

The goal is to read body language and surroundings sufficiently well to let that dictate an appropriate response to each situation. Some of us are better at it than others. Part of the total situation that determines response is you. My wife and I are not small, not weak, move confidently, and are never unarmed. We probably don't have to quite as shy of a stranger in a parking lot as does a lone petite elderly female. But caution is always a good thing.

It can be difficult to exercise sufficient caution to ensure personal safety, yet still be that good and decent person willing to help others who need it. Each of us has to decide where to draw his or her personal line. Here's hoping we can all be sufficiently alert to do just that. Instead of listing all the things my sweet wife says to watch for, I'll just say when you leave home, operate in Condition Yellow.


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## IlliniWarrior (Nov 30, 2010)

got to be careful about the disabled car in the parking lot/roadside .... oldest trick in the book to get you stopped and out of the car .... get your head under the hood or in the trunk and it gives them the needed distraction ....


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## Wikkador (Oct 22, 2014)

I do not talk with strangers who approach me and I do not allow strangers to intentionally get in my space when circumstances do not require it ( like in an open parking lot). I learned a long time ago that if I am to foster an environment where I can remain as safe as possible, I will have to throw courtesy to the wind. I typically say "No Sir! No thank you! or BACK OFF! DONT GET IN MY FACE! It depends on how determined they appear.


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## HardCider (Dec 13, 2013)

When I was younger I would stop to help everyone and anyone. That's just what you did. Then in forestry college, one of my class mates stopped to help a disabled vehicle near the university forest, once he was butt end up looking at the engine, they blew his brains out execution style. Come to find out the disabled vehicle, was from their last victim. I think they ended up being convicts on the run. This had a profound effect on me for the rest of my life

If it's broke down out in the open, in broad daylight, I might help but I listen to my gut. Anything out of place and you butt is on your own. 

And like most of you have said, I always watch my back and my separation distance. I trust no one to this day, and watch everyone and everything around me. I always sit with my back to the wall. Not out of fear but never letting my guard down

It's extremely unusual for me to let my wife go to town on her own. She likes it that way. The only bad part about being totally "on" all the time, is that my wife pays very little attention what's going on around her when we are together and that could be a bad habit to get into.


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## hiwall (Jun 15, 2012)

Down here just about everyone stops to help including me. I am always armed and cautious but I always stop and ask if they need help. In the summer here if someone does not have water with them they can be in trouble very quickly. I am not really a very nice guy but I have not yet lost my humanity.


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## TheLazyL (Jun 5, 2012)

Put my head under the hood of a stranger's car? Nope. I will not do that.

I will offer to call whoever they would like me to call for assistance. Or if they have no local friends that can help, I'll call the local police dept. And no I'm sorry , i can't give you a ride to the next town.

This winter I saw a car coming towards me, Driver decided to drive off the road into a snow filled ditch. I stop, gave him his end of my tow strap and hooked my end onto my truck. When he was ready, pulled him out and gave him some slack on the tow rope. He thanked me, I said your welcome. I waited until he was driving away to coil up the tow rope and put it away. Neither one of us ever got within knife range of the other.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

*Don't approach me*

I left the country and went to the BIG city to finish college. We would get free tickets to major league baseball and go to malls, etc. I noticed that wherever I went with others, I was the only one who had people approach me. I had to quickly figure out why I had a target on me. It was because I trusted everyone. I made eye contact with everyone. I greeted many. The others did not.

Scammers, bums, beggars, and low lifes are always looking for a weak link they can break, someone vulnerable and trusting.

I have learned to be aware of people in parking lots, etc. I walk fast and if I see someone heading my way I am deliberately not giving them any acknowledgement, even if they are speaking to me. Everyone who is anyone has people they can call, services they can contact, someone they know that they can get help from. End up in trouble in a parking lot? Contact store management. They are the safest bet.

If I get a flat tire, I can change it and am on my way in less than 10 minutes. EVERYONE who drives, male and female, should be able to change a tire as a prerequisite to getting their license. It is not always pretty, but, you can have preps to be able to clean up or prevent being totally getting dirty. Not prepared with a spare or what they need or have never felt the need to change their own tire? It happens to everyone, sooner or later. Others need to figure it out, but not on me. I do what I can for myself.

Car trouble? Call AAA, you dad, your mom, your daughter or son, a tow truck, a brother, a friend. I do not stand by the side of the road and wave someone down. I never have. I never will.

Will I ever be in a position where I will need help? I think so. I am saving "help me" for the time I might need it.


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## kemps (Jun 1, 2015)

I know it can be hard for some people to understand where I am coming from. I have agoraphobia so, besides fear of leaving my home I am also scared of people as well as scared of any possible uncomfortable situation I can deal with away from home. I have a hard time (physically and otherwise) being alone in public. Luckily I have two PCAs and one is always with me. I can't stand people approaching me. I usually shake my head and say no thanks even before they can come near me. I've had some dirty looks and a few rude things said to me but I won't want what they are selling anyways so no skin off my back.

I've always greeted people, said hi and smiled. I try not to do it so much now. Not because I am rude but because what @Weedy Garden said is right. If you give them an in they will take it. When I was in Chicago in 09 I got hit hard with panhandlers. All kinds of crazy stories and everyone wanted money, not food or clothes. At first I tried to help people out. I won't give money but I offered to get some people a burger at McDonalds or something. They all had excuses. They were vegetarian or allergic to this or that. I finally gave up. Realized the only way to not be bugged is to be a B!tch. So I was. And I wasn't bugged as much. It bothered me a lot. I do want to help people. But you have to protect yourself or you are gonna be the one that needs it instead of giving it.


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## notyermomma (Feb 11, 2014)

Heh ...


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## airdrop (Jan 6, 2012)

*right*



notyermomma said:


> Heh ...


So when there's nothing but mush left and his finger moves a tiny bit , what's left to stomp .:nuts:


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## Wanderer0101 (Nov 8, 2011)

Someone approaches me in a parking lot I firmly tell them no. If they persist I report them to the store even if I have to go back inside to do it. My belief is that these people are 100% scam artists. Someone broken down on the road is a different story and I do stop to help but I certainly exercise due diligence. I am always armed.


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## notyermomma (Feb 11, 2014)

airdrop said:


> So when there's nothing but mush left and his finger moves a tiny bit , what's left to stomp .:nuts:


Airdrop, it's a comedy. Here's the whole segment:






"Enter the Dojo" is an ongoing series spoofing martial arts. "Master Ken" is an actual instructor who's found a lot to poke fun at over the years, and the series has become an instant cult classic in the martial arts world. It's become so big in just a couple seasons that he and his "students" now tour the world giving performances and "seminars" based on the videos. Kind of like Monty Python, but in uniform.

:club:


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