# Canned Unicorn...



## RevWC (Mar 28, 2011)

Since the penguin didn't go over..

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.


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## Caribou (Aug 18, 2012)

Rev, just how much Guinness have you been, um… smoking?


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## RevWC (Mar 28, 2011)

Caribou said:


> Rev, just how much Guinness have you been, um&#8230; smoking?


I can't make this up...

http://www.amazon.com/ThinkGeek-Can...&qid=1384633538&sr=8-11&keywords=canned+bacon


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

Next he is going to be posting about *Spotted Dick* like its some new thing...


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## Sentry18 (Aug 5, 2012)

Pfffftt Amazon. That's not spotted dick, if you want real spotted dick you need to go to the Ozarks. The Ozarks has the best spotted dick and unicorn meat!


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## 8thDayStranger (Jan 30, 2013)

If you want spotted dick just go to one of the trailer parks around here.......uuuuuummmm..........wait............nevermind


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## rhiana (Aug 5, 2013)

Canned Unicorn made me crack up. Would make a great short story.


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## RevWC (Mar 28, 2011)

This is even a better Unicorn product for kids too!


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## Reblazed (Nov 11, 2010)

You've got to wonder just how long it took that 'prince' to make that video. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: 


.


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## weedygarden (Apr 27, 2011)

*Squatty Potty*

Squatty Potty was one of the items that was on Shark Tank http://abc.go.com/shows/shark-tank/video/VDKA0_ww70qc3x.


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## Grimm (Sep 5, 2012)

I thought unicorns only poop glitter!


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